Delta 8 right? Farm bills right? What a world.
I think the thing I like about Bezos going on the rocket is the verisimilitude. You can see the guy knows he's just a chinless dork who rode a kind of rocket & is just looking for a next thing and a next thing- a payoff. And there's not one, for sure. Nothing hits like that first kiss when it's just you and not your business, or... You know - that something, personal & singular. The rocket takes a legion to throw some asshole to space & that's the real lesson of all of this.
Collective action just wins, groups of people organized around a single task will always defeat the individual because the induvial is just a helpless, hapless dolt who can't accomplish anything. Bezos knows that he's interchangeable. He's nobody, Amazon - well, that's the real thing isn't it? I've hrown my share of rocks for Senator Sanders & the better versions of him that the Democratic party has absorbed & crushed. I've tried & the lesson is always- the individual is useless. The mass is the power. Naturally the entity that succeeds is the Corporation.
My little sister is at me with family mythology. She misses my old pop - though me and my brother don't. I try to keep the group text between us going. I'm trying to build community - at least between my brother & sister right? But my sister worships my dead father & me and my brother, who had more direct, business-oriented experiences with the old man - we don't. It continues - hte mourning thing My mother misses him so. I just don't. I try to engage her in conversation - ill advised but I'm a curious person. In real life what I do is ask questions that nobody else will ask you. That's my power - beyond the pure physical charisma I ended up with, I will try to talk to you about shit nobody else will. Mom's a standard issue evangelical trump enthusiast. Republican because her parents were & peaked in the 80's so likes all the tedious trappings of that benighted epoch. I quiz her lightly. "So the old man went," when he went, all comatose & alzheimered. He was 10 years dying in an abject, animal terror that always reminded me of a goldfish writhing on the carpet. 10 years. "So you think you'll see him again in an afterlife right?" She tells me that there's a perfected variant of him that will greet her in paradise. And that she'll be likewise perfected.
I've dwelt on this subject at length. Weirdly because I have to write rules about how healing magic works. What is it to be well? When you're cured of what's wrong with you - who even decides it? Am I healed & perfected if I have tall black hair? if I can see my ribs through my skin? if my teeth are all straight or if they're stuck in braces? What is it to be well? It's too hard a question for anyone let alone my poor old mother on her own. But I'm curious & listen. "A perfect self & his perfect self & we will meet again."
It isn't paradise to me. If I have to talk to that guy again. Not mad you dig, but... I've had enough. It's weird when the people you're tring to build better bonds with are only interested in mythology of the dead.
So I've been thinking about that. Family is the new Mythology. that's what I text in the group text - which is probably why I have such a hard time keeping it going. But think. Atomized, iolated, singualar - we're all solitary & individual in late capitalism. Our best bet is to contribute to the corporation. The sanctioned collectives that really make things happen. That are free & powerful. Family used to mean more. Clans & tribes & feuds for right. Me and my brother against my cousins, me and my cousins against the world. My fucking cousins work for the state. Good benefits if you'll lick the boot right? but it's not a world for families now. And 3rd worlders, they see it up close - intimately. The end of the relevance of the family. In the old country we'd kill or die for our people - that happened & in the memory of my people. Different cares & terrible by the lights of contemporary liberalism - but still - coherence.
Decoherence is the liberal way, atomized & individual, we're left to sell ourselves for mere survival. I think on this.
The other way is religions. Did you know that? The untaxed corporation. I spoke at old KingBelligerent today, in the other group text, the Highschoolchums gang. I'm gonna do his wedding in the fall, preside, priestly like. I'm okay with audiences so no worries about it. But I think & think that your own church - that's the style to win, the collective of hearts & thoghts committed. Better than the company.
I make religions as a hobby. I make religions like a heretical once-saint. I go back to it and back to it. That's the coherence right? The collection, the functional identity. Like mormons or catholics or whatever. Religions the thing. To bind & tie & overcome & to be indefatigable against the state. Sincerity is the issue you know. Those fake satanists, they're fine but it's all to insincere, to calculated. Nobody cares & the stunt only goes so far. It's got to be believed.
I told Agatha that the trump administration had really proved to me something I knew, intellectually but which I didn't really, truly understand. Half of all the people are below average. It's a dark true thing & you're at the mercy of them and must be. That's what is. I tell her - if he'd won again I think I'd just lose all shame and go about a new kind of life - predatory. Callous, malicious- hungry. Maybe I still should. Biden's a nothing who's legacy will be less than nothing & maybe these fuckers... Maybe they deserve to get taken. Maybe they should be just used up & juiced of all that's in them.
Maybe. It's dark in the world without a future, you end up thinking only of yourself. Atomized, individual. You're stuck alone & must concern yourself only with the self. Thinking on what is to be perfected, healed - the ideal self in paradise. No such person.
Collective action just wins, groups of people organized around a single task will always defeat the individual because the induvial is just a helpless, hapless dolt who can't accomplish anything. Bezos knows that he's interchangeable. He's nobody, Amazon - well, that's the real thing isn't it? I've hrown my share of rocks for Senator Sanders & the better versions of him that the Democratic party has absorbed & crushed. I've tried & the lesson is always- the individual is useless. The mass is the power. Naturally the entity that succeeds is the Corporation.
My little sister is at me with family mythology. She misses my old pop - though me and my brother don't. I try to keep the group text between us going. I'm trying to build community - at least between my brother & sister right? But my sister worships my dead father & me and my brother, who had more direct, business-oriented experiences with the old man - we don't. It continues - hte mourning thing My mother misses him so. I just don't. I try to engage her in conversation - ill advised but I'm a curious person. In real life what I do is ask questions that nobody else will ask you. That's my power - beyond the pure physical charisma I ended up with, I will try to talk to you about shit nobody else will. Mom's a standard issue evangelical trump enthusiast. Republican because her parents were & peaked in the 80's so likes all the tedious trappings of that benighted epoch. I quiz her lightly. "So the old man went," when he went, all comatose & alzheimered. He was 10 years dying in an abject, animal terror that always reminded me of a goldfish writhing on the carpet. 10 years. "So you think you'll see him again in an afterlife right?" She tells me that there's a perfected variant of him that will greet her in paradise. And that she'll be likewise perfected.
I've dwelt on this subject at length. Weirdly because I have to write rules about how healing magic works. What is it to be well? When you're cured of what's wrong with you - who even decides it? Am I healed & perfected if I have tall black hair? if I can see my ribs through my skin? if my teeth are all straight or if they're stuck in braces? What is it to be well? It's too hard a question for anyone let alone my poor old mother on her own. But I'm curious & listen. "A perfect self & his perfect self & we will meet again."
It isn't paradise to me. If I have to talk to that guy again. Not mad you dig, but... I've had enough. It's weird when the people you're tring to build better bonds with are only interested in mythology of the dead.
So I've been thinking about that. Family is the new Mythology. that's what I text in the group text - which is probably why I have such a hard time keeping it going. But think. Atomized, iolated, singualar - we're all solitary & individual in late capitalism. Our best bet is to contribute to the corporation. The sanctioned collectives that really make things happen. That are free & powerful. Family used to mean more. Clans & tribes & feuds for right. Me and my brother against my cousins, me and my cousins against the world. My fucking cousins work for the state. Good benefits if you'll lick the boot right? but it's not a world for families now. And 3rd worlders, they see it up close - intimately. The end of the relevance of the family. In the old country we'd kill or die for our people - that happened & in the memory of my people. Different cares & terrible by the lights of contemporary liberalism - but still - coherence.
Decoherence is the liberal way, atomized & individual, we're left to sell ourselves for mere survival. I think on this.
The other way is religions. Did you know that? The untaxed corporation. I spoke at old KingBelligerent today, in the other group text, the Highschoolchums gang. I'm gonna do his wedding in the fall, preside, priestly like. I'm okay with audiences so no worries about it. But I think & think that your own church - that's the style to win, the collective of hearts & thoghts committed. Better than the company.
I make religions as a hobby. I make religions like a heretical once-saint. I go back to it and back to it. That's the coherence right? The collection, the functional identity. Like mormons or catholics or whatever. Religions the thing. To bind & tie & overcome & to be indefatigable against the state. Sincerity is the issue you know. Those fake satanists, they're fine but it's all to insincere, to calculated. Nobody cares & the stunt only goes so far. It's got to be believed.
I told Agatha that the trump administration had really proved to me something I knew, intellectually but which I didn't really, truly understand. Half of all the people are below average. It's a dark true thing & you're at the mercy of them and must be. That's what is. I tell her - if he'd won again I think I'd just lose all shame and go about a new kind of life - predatory. Callous, malicious- hungry. Maybe I still should. Biden's a nothing who's legacy will be less than nothing & maybe these fuckers... Maybe they deserve to get taken. Maybe they should be just used up & juiced of all that's in them.
Maybe. It's dark in the world without a future, you end up thinking only of yourself. Atomized, individual. You're stuck alone & must concern yourself only with the self. Thinking on what is to be perfected, healed - the ideal self in paradise. No such person.