I think part of the reason that parents grouse about their teen kids is that you can really start to see them collapse the wave-function. 8? 5? You can't even guess what it'll be, post-apocalyptic warlord's as good a guess as any. Time goes by and you start to see them slough off some of the possibilities- narrower and narrower routes till they've kind of come into definition as people. For me these steps, where whole swathes of potential Agatha's were slashed away - those were the hardest times - because you have to really acknowledge - This is who my kid is. And it takes some doing to get over that and get back to the right kind of love.

I wonder if being married for a long time is that same kind of feeling. I just could never get over this type of thing with anyone else before. Not in that way, where revelations are abrupt or... I don't know, you know though.

Man do I know a lot of lesbians, and maan were they excited that young A is strongly aligned toward their team.