I know this is a bad day for a lot of us, fairytales are a cure.

[kingtycoon]

Well, you’ve heard all about the King of the Fairies, sure, you’ve learned about the first magic word, and the second magic word and the third magic word and the fourth magic word – but I never did get around to telling you about the fifth and final magic word.

The truth is that things were good for the King of the Fairies, for all the plant fairies and the bird fairies too. Everything was so good, in fact, that the King never did get around to having to need to use all of the magic words. Everything was so good in fact that the King all but forgot about his magic wand and the five magic words that the fairies had taught him. He was busy living his life and having a good time.

One night, after work, the King was relaxing at home.

His friend, the King of the Pumpkins had come over to watch TV and hang out and eat snacks. King of Pumpkins had brought along a couple of the others, King of the Willows, who was shaggy and more like a dog than a person, but still a person, since he could talk and had opinions, and King of the Papyrus, who was very elegant and smart, and never ever forgot anything. Well, the fairy kings had come over, since they usually did, to have a nice time with their King. He was tired, he’d had a long day and accomplished a lot and he just wanted to have a quiet, pleasant evening, and so did his friends. They sat down and watched the shows that they all liked and fixed some snacks to eat and they were having a fine time.

Except that they ran out of snacks, and the King was very hungry. “Shucks, I didn’t have dinner and I’m out of popcorn now. I wish I’d gotten more food, but I’m too lazy to want to go to the store, It’s been a long day and I just want to stay home now.”

Pumpkin and Willow agreed that this was a shame. They felt badly because, being very tiny fairies they didn’t need to eat much to get full, in fact they’d shared just one kernel of popcorn and were stuffed and feeling lazy and full about it. Papyrus had eaten only a little. He didn’t like to stuff himself because he thought it made him feel lazy and dull witted and he hated that, he always said: “When I’m just a little bit hungry, I just feel smarter.” So he always tried to be just a little bit hungry, and that seemed to work out for him because he had a good idea just then.

“You know,” he said, sagely (he always talked that way because even though he was pretty smart, he liked for people to think that he was smarter still), “you could just use your wand and say the fifth magic word, then you’d shrink down and be small like us, and you’d probably get full just eating one crumb.”

Now the King, like I said, had almost forgotten all about his wand, which he kept in a drawer with his socks, and he’d almost forgotten the magic word for shrinking, but he hadn’t totally forgotten. He mumbled the word around in his mouth till he remembered it very clearly, and then he went and got his magic wand and noticed that he would need to do laundry soon. He came back and sat on the couch and held the wand and said the magic word and there you have it – he shrunk down to fairy size.

Now this is a hard thing to understand but it’s the main thing to know about Fairyland. Fairyland is the same world that we live in, but it’s so different that it seems like a whole other universe. Just a little stream of water coming down the spout doesn’t seem like much to you, but to the tiny fairies it’s like a stream, and a little stream to us, that we could hop over if we wanted – why to the fairies it’s a whole huge river. And the river that goes through town? That you have to take a boat across? Why to the fairies It’s like an ocean and the ocean! Why to the fairies the ocean is like a whole other universe. Every little rock you might kick down the street is like a hill to the fairies, and a big rock that you could barely lift up, to the fairies it’s like a mountain. Now a hill is so big to a fairy that they couldn’t even think of it as a thing, it’s like a whole world to a fairy, a big building to a fairy is like a whole earth to us, and a little cardboard box to us is like a great skyscraper to the fairies. So just imagine for yourself how strange and big the world is, and then imagine if it was a million times bigger and stranger – that’s what fairyland is like – because even though the fairies are much smaller than us, their world is ever so much larger than ours.

When the King shrank down the velvet on the couch became like thick grass and it came up to his knees. He found a crumb of popcorn and ate it up and he was stuffed more than he ever was before. And how did the popcorn taste? Well to you and me things taste how they taste, there are little tiny bits of flavor all over a thing that we eat and we taste those bits, but to the fairies, who are so small, some of the flavors are just too big to fit in their mouths, and some of the flavors or the smells of things that are too small for us to notice – why the fairies notice them, and now so did the King. That popcorn tasted better and different than any popcorn ever to the King, it tasted like radishes, but good radishes! It tasted like caramel and cherries and pickles and not at all like popcorn normally tasted, it tasted like nothing he’d ever tried before and he loved it. And the TV! Why it was as big as the sky and the lightbulbs seemed like suns hanging up all through the house. Even the couch seemed like a huge grassy mountain made of impossible cliffs. When the heater came on it was like a hurricane and when the TV was loud it was like thunder and an earthquake.

The King laughed and laughed, what an amazing thing, to find that he’d been living in Fairyland all along and never noticing that his own living room was a whole huge kingdom with mountains and rivers and suns – why it was delightful and the King was filled with newfound energy. He became so excited that his friends were thrilled and wanted to go and have a little adventure with him.

King Pumpkin, the King of the Fiairies’s best friend, invited him over to his house. Pumpkin was no taller than the King then, but he was quite a bit fatter and he smiled and laughed a big happy laugh. He hugged the King and invited him to his house. “Come see my house in the greatest pumpkin patch in fairyland!” Which was just what they all decided to do.

The King, though, was not at all sure how they would get there. “Why it will take us a thousand years to walk there, and how will we get down from this couch! How do you Fairies get around at all!”

Of course the Fairies have their own way of getting from place to place, and they showed the King right then and there. You see the fairies, they know when someone can see them and when someone can’t. When someone can see them they stand so still that they might as well be invisible anyway, and when no-one can see them – why then they can appear wherever they want. They just take a step on any shadow and then they appear like they were walking out of any other shadow as long as it is someplace where no one can see them. That’s why it’s polite to look away when you see a fairy, and that’s why when a fairy wants to go somewhere all the other fairies turn their backs since if you watch and look out for a fairy – you’ll never ever be able to see one, and if you try not to see one – well they might think you’re very kind to let them get around however they want – and they might even come and leave you a present. Anyway – the King of the Fairies went with King Papyrus, King Willow and King Pumpkin back to Pumpkin’s house. It was a big comfy house, round and fat just like Pumpkin and orange inside and out. The floor was tied with shiny pumpkin seeds, each of them as big as the boards of your house, and the walls were made of shiny, oozy pumpkin slime, but when you’re fairy sized pumpkin slime doesn’t seem icky and sticky at all, instead it seems smooth and silky and pretty as anything, like fancy wallpaper with woven-in designs. All the furniture was made of carved up pumpkin stems and all the rugs were woven together pieces of pumpkin leaves. The King of the Pumpkins had about a million delicious things to eat, and because he was always so friendly and good to everyone there were all sorts of fairies all coming and going from his house all the time. When you’re very small like the fairies you don’t need to sleep very much at all, and just a little light is enough to seem like daylight – so all night and all the next day the King of the Fairies hung around with Pumpkin and there were three or four parties in just that time because Pumpkin was so friendly and always welcomed anyone who wanted to visit him.

After a while though it was late even for the King and for King Pumpkin – and so the King announced that he needed to go home, get big and go to bed – because he realized that he had work in the morning and he never had gotten around to doing his laundry.

King Pumpkin took the King of the Fairies home and then got ready to go back home himself. That’s when the King of the Fairies realized something! “Pumpkin! What’s the magic word to grow back to normal size?”

“You are normal size!”

“What’s the word to make me grow back to how I was?”

“Oh, I don’t think there is such a word. I sure don’t know it if there is one.”

“What! Pumpkin! I can’t stay like this!”

“You look great this way, why would you want to be so big anyway? That’s just wasteful King!”

“What am I going to do?!” The King of the Fairies was starting to really freak out. Of all the weird htings that had happened since the Fairies had chosen him for their king, this was the craziest, he was really worried that he ight never be able to be normal sized again.

“King, you should just come back to my house, you can stay in the guest room and in the morning we’ll go and ask around, I’m sure one of the other fairies knows a way to grow big, just relax your Majesty, you’re tired and it’s time for a break, everything will be better in the morning.”
Normally people will tell you that things will be better in the morning – this is because it is always true.

In the morning, after the King had slept in Pumpkin’s extra room he went with Pumpkin to the court of the Tree Kings. Pumpkin remembered that the Kings of the Tree Fairies were older and wiser than almost every other kind of fairy, so he said that they should start there, and hopefully finish up too!

The court of the Tree Fairies was very big and fancy, it was made of creaky wood and had big beautiful windows made of pretty fallen autumn leaves. It smelled like the fall and it was very big and solemn. The Tree Fairies were all very tall, not like a tall person might be taller than you, but in the way that a really big dog is much, much bigger than a little tiny dog. The King of the Fairies and Pumpkin approached and King Maple and King Elm stepped forward. “Who comes to the court of the trees?” They said, they had deep creaky voices and mossy beards and crowns made of woven twigs.

Pumpkin said “The King of the Fairies needs your help!”

“What’s wrong?” They asked, but they didn’t realize that the King was there, they were thinking that the King was not there with them, but that they’d have to go and find him.

“I’ve shrunk down to fairy size and I need to get big again!” The King shouted.

“What? Who are you!” Demanded the Tree Fairy Kings.

“It’s me! Your king!”

“Bah”, said Elm. “Fie.” Said Maple.

“I still have my wand and my magic words!” The King said. “You’d better help me or I might make you fall in love with a hungry skunk! Or Vanish or I might make it rain for twenty years!” The King didn’t mean to be cruel, but he was very scared and upset and he had no patience at all for people who said he wasn’t who he was. You wouldn’t like that either.

The Tree Kings were upset, and they felt very badly for having doubted the King. “Well, you should just grow again. You grew to be a gigantic titanic behemoth once, you must be able to do it again.” The Tree Kings were very reasonable, and also very patient. When they talked all the birds in their court chuckled and sang and some flew off.

“Do you have any other possible suggestions?”

“The Kings of the Ferns are very old indeed, they might know something no one else does.” Said the King of the poplars, who’d just come in when he heard the birds’ commotion.

So the King of the Fairies and the King of the Pumpkins went to the muddy, marshy, mossy court of the Kings of the Ferns. There, the old mumbly, jumbly Kings of the Ferns said just what the Tree Kings had said – “You should just wait until you grow big again, you did it once, you can do it again, why not?” And then they said that he should try asking at one of the other courts.

The King went to each of the other Fairy courts and asked for help. The Flower Kings in their beautiful, scented court could not help, nor could the weed kings in their court of old bricks and broken glass, and neither could the vegetable kings and not the grain kings either. It seemed that none of the Kings among the fairies would be able to help their King. He was beginning to get very upset, and he was starting to be very upset with Papyrus and Pumpkin as well, even though Pumpkin told jokes and stories and did everything he could to try and cheer up his friend.
When they had almost given up and were getting ready to go and see the dirty, dusty, musty court of the tuber kings a bird came down from the sky and landed right next to them. A bird, to a fairy, is about as big as a horse to you or me, even a little tiny bird, and this was a little tiny bird – a chickadee – but is big black eyes and his sharp little beak seemed menacing indeed to the King of the Fairies. He trembled to see it and was sure he’d get eaten up, right until he saw the tattered piece of kite-string that was looped over the chickadee’s beak, and he saw the black-capped rider on the chickadee’s back wearing a grey and white cloak of downy feathers.

“Pip Pip!” Said the rider and she jumped from the chickadee’s back. “Pip Pip!” She cried, and “Chick! Chick-a-Dee!” She said and handed the King a folded up corner of a napkin. Then she jumped back onto her Chickadee and flew off into the sky.

“What could that have been about!” Said Pumpkin, and he was mystified, his eyes were as big as pumpkin seeds.

“It’s a letter.” Said the King. “From the Queen of the Fairies.”
He started to read it.

Hello King –
A little bird told me that you’d run into some trouble with your
Magic words. I had one of my fairies write this down for you
Since I’m still much too big to write you a small enough letter.
The birds hear everything that happens in the World and
In Fairyland too. They told me a magic word that I think will
Help you to grow back to your normal size, but…

“But…” said the King. “Always a but, and right there at the end of the page. I don’t like this a bit.” He turned over the letter and started to read again.

I am not sure I should teach you a powerful word until you
Have lived with the fairies that you’re in charge of for a little
While at least. Why not take this chance to enjoy Fairyland
You don’t need to rush back to the world. And anyway – it
Might take some time to remember the word. Do me a favor
King – if you can do 13 undoable things – then I’ll tell you the
Word and you’ll have a sixth magic word to use. I just think
As the Queen of the Fairies, that I shouldn’t just irresponsibly
Tell you a magic word whenever you get into some kind of trouble
I think I’m supposed to make you have an adventure. So wait for
Just a little while and I’ll send one of my Queens to tell you the
First undoable thing.

So the King of the Fairies, who did not think that the Queen of the Fairies was wrong, but who was still a little disappointed went back to Pumpkin’s house to wait for one of the Queens of the Bird Fairies to come and let him know what the first undoable thing was.

“Aren’t you worried?” Pumpkin asked. He was worried.
“Well, if there really is a magic word that can make me grow back, then at least I can look forward to learning it instead of just worrying that I’ll never get back to my right size again. Nah, I’m not worried Pumpkin my friend, I’ll get big again, now I’m sure of it. That makes me feel about a million times better.”

“But aren’t you worried you won’t be able to do the undoable things?”

“Oh, of course not! Why, just today I shrank down to the size of an ant, I visited ten different fairy kingdoms and I slept inside a pumpkin! That’s 13 undoable things and it’s not even suppertime. I feel better already.

So can you imagine what the first of the 13 undoable things might be?

Comments

[irishcoyote.livejournal.com]

You bastard.
It's a brilliant story you have there.