(no subject)
I just found my bus pass in the coushion of my chair and I thought that I must have become a magical wizard or something. Again. Sometimes magic happenstance is too far between instances to make you feel alright about things. You can get caught up deeply in mundane matters, you can get caught up entirely like the wind blowing you into the sky in just mindless doings. Mindless doings.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever make a groove in the floor, if I'll ever be settled and have a five year stretch that I can speak of in advance without ending up cursed. I'm on a permanent 30 month cycle - I can see it here in the old Livejournal - every two.5 years it all gets different and I've got to get going again. I need a 120 month cycle, ideally - that's, to me - I see what's up with people and those people that are on top of their situations that have all they need and don't seem too worried - they've been building five years and coasting five years. I want that, I'm building two years, coasting a couple of months and back to the beginning.
Somewhat. I move soon, soon. I've been packing, I was cross with my daughter and was not loving enough. I am worried and tired. I am tired. I guess not worried.
Hey, I found my bus pass in the coushions of my chair. Hey I can paint if I want to, I can work from home if I can't find my bus pass, I can even work from home really effectively.
I assume that these little victories seem utterly disappointing and small-time and that my frustrating concerns seem utterly insignificant and laughably simple.
Because they are. Big picture thinking currently evades me - I'm caught up and stuck on these details! It's the worst man, I gotta get peace soon.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever make a groove in the floor, if I'll ever be settled and have a five year stretch that I can speak of in advance without ending up cursed. I'm on a permanent 30 month cycle - I can see it here in the old Livejournal - every two.5 years it all gets different and I've got to get going again. I need a 120 month cycle, ideally - that's, to me - I see what's up with people and those people that are on top of their situations that have all they need and don't seem too worried - they've been building five years and coasting five years. I want that, I'm building two years, coasting a couple of months and back to the beginning.
Somewhat. I move soon, soon. I've been packing, I was cross with my daughter and was not loving enough. I am worried and tired. I am tired. I guess not worried.
Hey, I found my bus pass in the coushions of my chair. Hey I can paint if I want to, I can work from home if I can't find my bus pass, I can even work from home really effectively.
I assume that these little victories seem utterly disappointing and small-time and that my frustrating concerns seem utterly insignificant and laughably simple.
Because they are. Big picture thinking currently evades me - I'm caught up and stuck on these details! It's the worst man, I gotta get peace soon.