Ab Wasteland Condita

None can no know how so ancient a place as the City came to be, for what was once written has been lost in the gulf of time and the ruinous tumults since the founding.

What is remembered is all that remains to us. In this account I have relied upon the histories retold by the great families of the city who have kept their own legends alive, as well as the inscriptions, (when they are decipherable) preserved yet in the districts of the city. These together tell what is known of the ancient kings of the City and their lineage.

As is proper the beginning shall be the beginning.

When the land first welcomed settlement there came those first who had transgressed the ancient laws of their native places, and in echelon there followed many sorts - vagabonds, pilgrims and the lawless & desperate, especially the latter two, who all alike sought the comfort of new & welcoming lands. Chief among these wanderers was the Clevelander, who claims descent from the patriarchs of the Hebrews & thereby a lineage incorporating all the followers of Smith. The Clevelander, who was made homeless by the notorious ar with the Ocean-Sea which force has long been inimical to the efforts of man. & which his people made unsuccessful war upon - even as they Cleaved-to-the-Land.







Finding no home but without disgrace the Clevelander came amongst the teeming rabble who had made a camp upon the Twisted River & the Darkling Sea, where the bold & desperate hunted the Wicked-Fish-of-God


Now in those days the folk of the Darkling Sea were but tiny, hairy things - who made no use of the speech of the civilized, and it was by the signs & prodigies which the Clevelander demonstrated using his artifice and understanding of the written word that these fierce & noble forebears did set upon the Clevelander in ferocious worship. Thus he was inducted as their King-In-Iron.




Now of the Clevelander much is said and there are many of the best families of the city that claim descent from his line & each & all of these tell tales of his prowess. I have replicated here, only those stories that are held in common by all the families & so may be judged - if not true, then at least - True Enough.

Among the Callahanii it is often said that The Clevelander went often among his subjects dressed in the monstrous skin of a bear so to menace the simple folk & thus gave them, forever, the anticipation that at all times there were at the threshold - Monsters. So much do the Callahanii hold this legend as truth that the knowledge of Monsters, their habits & by which signs they can be discovered remains the special province of the clan of the Callahanii - who yet stock the preisthoods of the city's deserted precincts.

Among the Mazii it has been often said that the dominions of the city & the districts of the families were treaded out by the Clevelander, for behind him at all times came the Allegii, who likewise tell this story. The Allegii spread the black soil behind the Clevelander as he strode the bounds and thus these districts are marked forever upon the face of the city. Many families still guard the bounds of these districts, but the most notable of all the boundaries which define the realms of the families of the city I will describe presently, for in that story is also the story of the final day of the Clevelander.





Most famous of all the stories of the Clevelander is one that still kindles the dreams of those who imagine that they might become rich without effort. It was said by the Methuselii that the Clevelander, whose arts were those of the planner, the orator & the dreamer & who had no use of the gun nor the plow nevertheless sowed in the land the Green-Gold Trove. Of the treasures of the drowned east the Clevelander saved what gods of the household he could and carried them dutifully to the shores of the Darkling Sea. Now these gods are pernicious and hateful of the wishes of man, and so were made the object of much sacrificing, for it was chief among the rites of the Clevelander that calamity be kept at bay through the liberal offering of beer and meat. Now these gods were entombed by the Clevelander, or sown into the ground where they remain a treasure of the ages, so the Methuselii say, and more they claim that the hoard lies unclaimed beneath the foundations of the city's ancient houses & that is the explanation that they give for their land-greed & their famous poverty. Many others have followed this hope, that in the fallen houses of the ancients can be found great treasures, but here they fall prey to the lies of the Methuselii, for all the wise know that the same calamity which befell the city and destroyed all records of the distant time here related - the infamous Sack of the City by the Northern Ice, either destroyed or else stole the Clevelander's last bequest.

Still other tales are known to all, and so I will close my chapter on the Clevelander (who some suppose only to be a myth) with the story, recorded by Q.F. Pictor of the Clevelander's last days. It has been noted that his greatest gift was in planning & he cut the paths & districts of the city himself, but finding that the people clamored against his arrangements - saying that one family was hostile to another, or that two families could not abide by so narrow a boundary. Among these seditious clans came talk of secession & open warfare (as much as those of the city are capable of warfare at all) was threatened.




These malcontents massed in the streets shouting one another down & it came to be needful that the Clevelander intercede. Upon the Detroit-Superior he called an assembly of the aggrieved and denouncing them declared that forever more there would be a division along the Twisted River's course. That division of the East & West stands yet, but what befell the Clevelander in that scene is debated still.

The Westside families hold that he, in his wrath created the river by striking hard the land - cleaving it in two & thereby giving the city it's name.

The families of the East say differently, and I think rightly, that it was the Westsiders who first gave offence & claimed (out of greed) the greater half of the Clevelander's bequest, but also claimed (out of ignorance) the poorer half. These Westsiders, in dire remorse for their mistake, fell upon the Clevelander there on the sacred bridge and pleaded that he spare them his judgement and allow that they choose again. The famous saying of the Clevelanders is known to originate with the Clevelander's response of "No Takebacks." In a rage, the Eastsiders contend, the Westsiders flung the founder of their city from the bridge, which act caused the land to be cloven in two, and filled subsequently by the Twisted River.

In any case, the final division of the city into it's two classes - the Eastsiders and Westsiders was accomplished with the disappearance of The Clevelander - though the Westsiders say he vanished as if into a mist upon his creation of the Twisting River. So ends the account of the first King of the Wasteland.