Still never cut for your convenience

9:00 a.m. Sunday May 8th...
I went for a walk just now through the meadow and I saw a bunch of geese, a couple of wild turkeys, a deer, some squirrels, some chipmunks, the Woodchuck, the chimney swifts, a red tailed blackbird and some grackles. Oh, and a million million Robins - who all hedged close and were posing beautifully. Of course they must have sensed that I didn't have my camera with me.

See after I'd ridden all the buses yesterday, after I'd got to all the places I wanted to go - I remembered that I needed to take a picture of the Robin. And why you ask? "Kingtycoon!" You say, "The Robin is everywhere, it's endemic to the neighborhoods of all the world." And you're right, or close enough, you're correct in intention. See I want to make a flag for myself and one of my emblems must be The Robin In The Snow - it's my totem. Also probably the Wade Giles Magician, maybe a couple of hexagrams and possibly the Cuyahoga County logo.

Maybe also this satanic looking goat statue from the zoo. Maybe. Oh the zoo? Did I mention the zoo? Also buses? Also the living things of the earth that have spontaneously exploded into view and morning choruses as if to trumpet the arrival of a glorious new season crowned in glory forever? Yes - I mentioned all of those things - Details:

So first thing I was up and on the bus yesterday -going to the Zoo to meet my mom and daughter. Thrills. The day before, friday - Ma wanted to go and see A after school and we did that, and then after driving around interminably in her tiny, tiny car it was decided that kid would go to stay with her grands for the night. Zoo in the morning. So it starts out auspiciously enough.

It starts out peaceful. See - friends of mine, they talk about what they hear and see on the bus- but my bus, my main one, the 28 goes down Euclid all the way through EC - and people aren't that chatty in EC, when they are it's usually to swear, a lot. Anyway - I decided against working on a paper and read something different and new. Or I guess really really old. Kid was after me to tell a story and I'm sort of spent of storytelling and then I couldn't really think of anything to talk about except murder, violence and bloody revolutions (Thanks History!) so I went on to read fairytales - well The Mabinogion - which, close enough. You know how in the Roman histories it starts out kind of fantastic, but not very fantastic, just lightly - it starts out with Romulus and kind of dreamy recollections of Aeneas -and then it drives inexorably toward very legalistic, very bloody, very Serious history. I like the Welsh accounts of the Romans because - hey, it's all fun again, they have fairytales about it, it's nice. Kind of nice anyhow and once I switched to the Redline at Windermere I went on to sketch out a revised version of one of the stories for my imaginary country Klial. I did that almost all the way to 25th - but was interrupted by some Germans who were getting noisy about trying to find a seat and being German.

At the scene on 25th and Lorain there's that park accross from the market and I sat around there and hung out reading and waiting and waiting - the crowd was strange - this crowd of old black men, like retirees, they were congregated around one dude's phone and were screaming obscenities at it? And then another man came by and he was talking to them about taking his exams - and then I realized that I recognized him from one of my classes. And then this man reading the newspaper got into a long conversation with another old man about how soon he would be able to go back to sea. He'd had to give up driving to calm his nerves, he said, so he could be allowed to return to the sea. This conversation kind of amazed me but later, when he left his phone lying one of the crowd of telephone chanters noticed and was mentioning it to the sailor-in-love-with-the-bus - and he was all: 'Thanks Bro!" but not in the way of golf-shirt wearing people, but in the way of old men where it might have been taken or might even have been meant as offensive. Anyway waiting there for-Ever until the 35 finally came.

Oh man the 35. Really I should have gotten a picture of this. Next time - you know what? When someone acts out in a horrible way that's embarrassing and ruining to everyone else? I'm going to start documenting their nonsense. Anyway this guy was bellowing for miles and miles some crappy version of "Paul Revere" and also some Run DMC song that I couldn't recognize. They were mashed up together and terrible and his girlfriend kept apologizing and alternating apologies with begging him to stop. "I'm so embarrassed on this bus!" She would shout. "He took a bad dose of some PCP." she would go on to confide. "I"m getting off this bus and you can't never go to my house again if you don't shut the fuck up!" And she was shouting louder than him and it was a terrible domestic quarrel between drugs-people. Really, if people are visibly high I feel like the war on drugs should allow us to baseball-bat them into sobriety.

11:00 AM - Here B called and wanted me to prepare, she has an adventure in mind and I had to take a break from typing - it turns out a really long break - this is going to be kind of a long blog, get another cup of coffee...

Anyway the bus - and this asshole with stupid hijinks. Really at the time I was not all that angry, after all I was only subjecting myself to his shenanigans - no kid with me, after all - going to get kiddo, meet up at the Zoo - our Place of Places - and where we haven't been in a long time. And the guy gets off the bus soon enough, and then it's kind of peaceful again on the bus and then it's down the big hill to the zoo gates. I thought about reactivating my membership but it's pricey now. More than it was anyhow. Just a ticket, and then go in and meet my mom and kiddo.

The Elephants are back - check my Flickr if you want to see what it was about - it was crowded, and my mom. Oh man, my mom - she's wonderful so you know, but we're of different sorts - I'm used to having adventure and me and kid are kind of tuned to the same activity-style, we roll out enough and have the same right pace - we get it done. It's different with my dear Mother, but also Mothers Day and so I won't contrive to complain, only notice that it's a better time for her and I'm glad she's out and doing, and I'm glad I'm out and doing and I'm glad we're all together. It's better together. But yes, go see the new elephants, go see the great big crowd, go and be astonished by the number of neck tattoos and how much public swearing there might be. People were at the Gorilla pen, and if you know me, you know I <3 Gorillas. Every Time.

Anyway these slobs were getting salty that the Gorillas just sit with their backs to the crowds all indifferent and kind of hostile, kind of shy, not looking, not moving. These people were groaning in disappointment. I thought - and what would the Gorillas see at your house? You'd be sitting still and staring like an idiot too, you'd be the same as them. Don't be dissatisfied that the Gorilla acts like you do. The baboons on the other hand were very photogenic. So I didn't take a picture but this dude was sitting around on his big rubber ball with his lady-pleaser all hanging low and the kids were like, hypnotized and horrified and amused all at once by it. Adults too. And this kid is at the glass with A and he's all: "His Pecker is hanging out!" And I laughed for maybe ten minutes about it. "His pecker!" I like how he has a wise seeming face, he seems like he's got it kind of figured out - and maybe having your pecker hanging out all the time is wise. We'll leave wisdom to the Baboons then.

We did it all up though, ended up seeing something kind of great too - these geese! These geese were acting up like maniacs, like maniacs on the 35 bus! They were honking it up and doing fanciful neck-dances and having bill-fights and being extraordinarily active for geese and we interacted with them a little - but then it was mothers day - and so what did we see but Mother Goose herself. True Story - and I remembered how I couldn't make up a fairy tale lately that wasn't going to probably link back to the late history of the Roman Republic or the Dust Bowl or the Cultural Revolution and I felt kind of blessed by the presence of old Ma' goose among my own dear mother no less.

After the zoo was over and closing dear Mom gave us a lift to Gordon Square where we walked a little ways to the Happy Dog to have hotdogs and wait for A's mom. Mothers Day see- and she and her daughters were set to pose together for the battle of the local drawing teams. We hung out all together for a while and had a hotdog and commented about the neighborhood, the people, the happy dog. I miss the old sign - which was based on a dog named Gibson - and I was showing A the sign and I said- you see this dog? This dog picture? It's a picture of a dog that once came to visit you, it's Gibson, who came to your second birthday. True Story - I watched him for a week and he was a guest at Birthday number two. Afterward he ate the heck out of birthday cakes and when he went back to his master he was referred to ever after as The Cake Destroyer. I was naive then, and didn't know that a dog would eat cake. Who knows what a dog will eat or do? I do now, but not all those years ago.

Well. It came to be time to get on the bus again. I bid the party farewell and left A with The Land of Oz - which she's read most of on her own already. It's maybe my favorite of the Famous Forty A's mom was enchanted by the pictures and story of General Jinjur and so maybe they got drawn as General Jinjur's army? I haven't seen any of the pictures yet. Anyway - back on the bus, and further out west. This time the #26.

So the 26 was first of all, late, and second of all - incredibly crowded. Like, belief defying, and all the passengers, we were pushed in and crammed in and the driver kept letting people in the back door saying: "This ride is on me today, you just get in where you can!" And that was beautiful, and then the bus was very convivial maybe not despite the cramming but because of it? Or maybe because it was Saturday night and that's always a good thing right? This dude who I couldn't see because he was jammed up against me back-to-back he was saying hilarious stuff - and some room opened up and he was hollering: "There's room for two people over there!" And I added: "Three if their friendly." And we all laughed - and then this car sped by and was honking and all the passengers on the right side of the bus opened the windows to simultaneously give the bird to this car in a chorus of antagonism and solidarity - it was kind of beautiful. The guy, the funny one, he says to me: "Man are you married?" And I was all: "You know, not lately." And we were laughing - by the time we made it past 117th though it had gotten all clear - cleared up. And I sat down and the dude was, I noticed, checking me out behind his sunglasses then and I felt kind of like... Man, I don't want to get checked out by dudes. I feel your pain ladies that get checked out by dudes. It's a weird thing - cause it mainly makes me feel like a cat is thinking about fighting me. I mean, even if he's just into casual makeouts or whatever, it still seems like there's about to be a fight. I wonder if that's confusing for gay guys? I mean, Man on Man? Isn't that close to Man v. Man? I dunno. This probably says something about my social consciousness that isn't at all flattering.

So I was going out west, way out west to go to my friend Laura's dinner party, where she was having tryouts for the foods she would make for her top-chef tryouts. It was a good time! Good food, nice civilized company, not too civilized, but just right. I needed to be weaned off of barbarity given my more recent outings - and this whole environment was ideal, old friends, new friends, old acquaintances, pleasant talk and again - splendid food.

Oho! But I forgot to mention - so if you scroll all the way back to the top you can see that halfassed picture of a Robin that I got. I was noticing those bastards around and I wanted to get a picture for my flag, as I've mentioned. You're probably saying: "Didn't you say something about the Robin in the Snow? It's not snowing, and those are terrible pictures!" And you're right. You're always right my friend, I think you're great, tell everyone I said you're great. Anyhow! I can't draw for shit, and I wanted a picture of a Robin for tracing, maybe to make a stencil, do something. And I was walking around trying to photograph these robins and I was muttering like a lunatic..."...come here you little bastard..." And other pedestrians were noticing and it was A Thing. Anyway, no good pictures. Argle. Bargle.

Back to the event. Well. I'm no food blogger. You could tell if I was because they'd probably put my face on money and ask me to appear on a million million TV shows, and not just on cable. Except, well, sometimes I channel that guy but only sometimes. I'll tell you this - the things we ate? Were great - some kind of turnip and cheese soup with homemade pretzels? Awesome. Some kind of pulled pork with cornbread? Awesome. Some kind of everything that was Awesome. Desert quinona! Seriously, and Mole Chicken pastry. It was amazing and I had only the barest criticism. As the beer and wine and bourbon did their tricks - and also the Snuff... Andrew was there you see, and he's got leftover bourbon and snuff - anyway -they maybe conspired to make me certain, beyond certain - that these various meal-components should be fashioned into kinds of pies. I wanted everything to be baked into pies! Especially goats and englishmen and orphans. Especially those! It was grand, again, I rave.

Then there was a sweet and compelling and probably productive discussion about religion that I had with Batty and a sweet girl who was lovely to me about our mutual experience of having grown up as evangelical baptists. True Fact - I came up a Baptist. You can probably tell by ongoing blasphemy and inability to compose a blog-post that doesn't somehow reference Satan. Man, growing up a Baptist you learn A Lot about Satan. It went on and on and was lovely and correct and satisfying - the whole affair. Then Andrew and Jessica gave me a ride home so I wouldn't be pestered by pests on the array of busses that would lead me home. And I talked poor Andrew's ear off about things and Jessica fell asleep in the back seat and I thought: 'That's adorable. You should always have a girl fall asleep in the back seat.' It's the kind of thing that makes you feel as if you are responsible and brave and caretaking and heroic. It's true. I was happy for them and thankful.

Then I came home and had an amount of whiskey and passed out and...

So then it was morning, and I walked through the meadow, and then I went to the store and I came home and worked on typing this up and then B came at me with an invitation. I think the message exactly was this: Bridget Callahan: Do you want to go with me to the abandoned aquarium? Kingtycoon: When will you pick me up? (So a brief aside... I just checked her page to post that link and we're doing this thing where, well, I'm doing this thing where I suspect that though we went to the same places and did similar things, she's going to totally scoop me on them and I'll just seem like a parrot of her cleverer writing - but right now, she hasn't mentioned this yet. Yet - I've got a long ways to go still.)

So that happened - more on that in a later post I guess. Uploading takes some time. And so does even just thinking about the kinds of awful Fish-Apes that lived there and that we had to run from eventually. Fish-Apes! The worst kind of ape.

Afterward she took me back to Gordon Square where we were meeting friends - Don and Lauren to go and see the new Herzog movie in awesome 3d. It was very satisfying, as an experience. The 3d... So I was sitting there, listening to archeaologists and artists speculating about the spiritual nature of man and looking at these elaborate shots of cave-walls - real Documentation of the oldest art gallery of all - and I thought- this is the purpose of 3d filmmaking, this is optimal. Herzog got kind of fuzzy on ideas - he went a strange way here and there. Afterward B was sort of shocked about the five millennium intervals between the cave being occupied and painted, again and again. I had some thoughts about Herodotus and the Two Kingdoms and Djoser and Khufu. Because I'm a great big nerd. But I have to tell you - from that movie this is what I got- this is my thinking. Herzog wanted to go into some idea about human spirituality based on art and the transmission of art through time, and one of the archaeologists was saying that the Homo Sapiens - and he translated that as Thinking Man should be Homo Spiritualis and I thought that was rubbish. Homo Sapiens - the Wise Man. And you know? Transmitting knowledge through time - through the EONS is kind of our thing. Knowledge, history, information - our conception of god is based on omniscience - we've always, always valued our lore. At one point in the film they point out that the paintings were useful because they let the paleontologists know that the European Lion did not have a mane. Message in a bottle.

A review I read said that any human should see this movie. I... Probably. I like the elemental power of it. I like the idea of documenting it in 3 dimensional film. I could only think how much better my own archeology would be with 3d cameras and stuff - you'd really get a sense of the shape and size of the rotting old chairs in these abandoned joints.

I missed my bus and it was sunday and B was very generous and kind. After seeing off Don, who Knows Movies, and Lauren, who's quitting the Wasteland for Brooklyn soon (like all the rest of you suckers) B was, as I've said generous and kind and gave me a lift home.

So getting out of her car and saying good night, and who should be coming out of the house but my roommate Kaspar, who's back from his weekend of LARPing and hey, "What are you doing man?" His response: "Gonna go see Thor."

And so I went immediately from movie to movie. Thor - I'm better qualified to talk about that than I am about early holocene artwork. I know Silver-Age better than I know paleolithic - I'll tell you that for free.

Thor - it was neat, they did a fine job of evoking the Kirbyness of Asgard while doing a whole different thing with the Frost Giants and the romantic subplot was even kind of okay. And the guy who played Thor was grinning all proud and handsome through it in a way that made you feel like he probably was a god- in that he probably knows things that other people don't, he has extra knowledge - so he's more Sapient than the rest of us. I liked it.

Anyway... At last - I've got things that I have to accomplish now - besides adventures, besides good times, besides being out and among and with all the people and the clouds and the paradise of animals that's the Wasteland in Spring. And if you see a Robin, try and get a good picture for me.