(no subject)

In the course of your life it's likely that you'll become a madman. Circumstances dictate this, human events conspire, god himself will insist in increasingly severe tones – you will become a madman, you will starve and rave in the wilderness. This is always.

Consider, only for as long as you can, not the abyss, the abyss is easy, rather contemplate the Organism.

Look: It's likely, very likely, that I'm starved of attention and a madman, and I'm making accusations about you and indicting the universe, I know... I know. Just, just take a second, give it a moment. Try and see and just – just try. Trying is important, it's important, probably, that try means different things.

The Organism – see, we look down & in – there's the Self and the mirage and the truth of it – self as defined by the elements, the atoms, the substance of the universe, we're that – you me, the universe, all the same stuff. It's the mixture that matters – alchemy? Chemistry? What-have-you – we're made, born – we're composed. Like music, if you're feeling generous. It's things, all the same things as a table or a chair - so close that you'd call us cousins if you had the right perspective, so close you'd think we were one and the same, all parts of the same cloud – if you had the right sight. But slide your perspective to the right position and there it is – you're you – different! You're not at all like that computer, you're like other animals, and change the view, switch the aperture and you're like the other people, all the way to you're like you. The way that everything's the same and everything's different – circumstances you know?

Look at the self, you – You, why you're you – but what that means, that's hard to say no? You've got your parasites, your bacteria, heck you've got a head full of ideas and where did those come from? Narrow the focus down down to the self and you start seeing the strings – you're attached, words, biology – they lead on to chemistry and language and you're back, further and further out, you follow the strings and you're back to seeing things the wrong way. Too big, too much – you can't make sense of yourself, you're too busy making sense of physics and cosmology. It's too much, the perspective's gone all wrong again.

So you want to think of yourself, and the right way, the real way to see yourself is how others see you – that's what you think to yourself when you look in the mirror, you're thinking of the impression you'll make – you're thinking of who you are because who you are, you know this, is what other people think of you. Man that's bleak isn't it? Turns out it's what it is, true stories all. We're in this together, we all do what we gotta do. We. Get it yet? There's only me in relation to you – we're stuck together, siamese people joined at the society.

So we're to Society – that's an acceptable position to observe people, heck, you probably have a role in society – you'd better hope you do – it's important that you do! If you're gonna be part of the organism. The Organism. See, we're in it – we're the pieces, like the pieces in us that makes us go, there's the bigger body that we're part of – the part's that we make go. You go to big enough magnification and that's all gone – just like you and me turn to unrelated atoms on the right scale, you and I are just the individuals on the unhelpful scale of perception. You get it? You are whole – you feel whole, sense a wholeness about you – all the parts in relation to each other – it's a narrow view. And the Organism – that's a different scale you see – but related. Where you are the arm or the hand or the cell of the larger thing. So there it is – the organism – us in belonging to. So we belong to the self and call it Society. Well, we call it a lot of things, but I like Society – because it sounds both insufferable and actual.

Now this is the scale of perception that's not worth dwelling upon. We get stuck no? This year they're electing someone, we are, they are – it's happening. We're made to feel more aware of the relationships, of the Organism, of dumb old society. Like if your body was breaking, like your hair falling out. You don't know what's up with the cells but you notice that the organism has some shit going on.

Now, let me tell you – your hair falls out – you start to think about things, what's up with the organism? What's the story with this old body? So the election comes and I'm stuck with this perspective, the least helpful one where you have to look at the tiresome arc of history in relation to what's going on at and in this moment. So I'm trapped in this level of magnification and it's getting to me, getting to me kind of bad.

America. Man – it's really hard to like or care about America! I have friends and people all over the spectrum you know – and they all want to talk about these things. They say – Hey - Kingtycoon's a smart guy, he pays attention! What do you think about this and that KT? And I don't have comforting answers. Someone says – “well what do you think the founding fathers would think of the way things are?”

“I think they'd be pretty into internet porno. Who isn't right?”

But then I realize that if Tom Jefferson was alive today how I'd really like to knock his teeth out, for real – there's this thing about worshipping those guys- madison, jefferson, washington and I can't be the only person who wouldn't cross the street to spit on one of those guys can I? That whole Tea-Party thing, the one going on now- I got people on both sides of that and on the one hand – my liberal pals are all - “They're co-opting the sacred traditions.” and on the other they're all “Incoherent hostility to others!” Cause - well shit man, I don't see a difference between say the Koch brothers and Washington – rich people playing up some barely defined ideological meme to stir up poor folks to fight for them? So they don't have to pay their taxes? Rich people getting out of having to pay for the privilege of being rich is kind of the theme of the Revolutionary war – so yeah, both Tea-Parties, I agree, I say that these yahoos nowadays- they're pretty accurately channeling the efforts of the founders. Cynical manipulation of people further down the hierarchy. Yeah.

Then you have people, they want to pester me to be supportive or to denounce the President, like... and this is weird cause in either case it's like religions. You know when you don't believe in a person's religion it's harmful to their belief system? Cause right- if you're down with the 100% true-facts and someone else is presented with those infallible accuracies and they are all - “Well, no. Not at all.” Then it makes a problem that your beliefs are not really 100% true-facts? It's like that. Because I don't really like the president, even if he is a comics-book nerd and a charismatic smart guy – even though he's got a father from Africa and people think he's a religion that he isn't – see? See that there? I like that, I can identify. Of course I'm not very fond of insurance companies or torturing people or robot attacks or kill lists or indefinite detention or the banking, or heck, even the idea of charging or paying interest. Maybe I think all of those things are inexcusably wicked. Now, thinking of those things as being wicked rather affects my fondness for any of the president's opposition as well. Romney's not any better, and prima-facia – he's a way worse guy, he's like a gross asshole on a personal level. Which I don't know- When someone is a gross asshole I don't... I don't want them to be in charge of me.

There's more to it all sure, but less than people say. I became briefly exercised about this during the debates, because of the narrow arena of disagreement on display. Now, this works out to be a very tricky trick that gets played on you – do you choose a or b? This comes up in all kinds of sales and pitching – would you like to buy or lease? Would you prefer to buy this now or later? The assumption is made already – you've been coerced already and the options presented are, to be fair, maybe in your interests. But in the debates I thought a lot about my interests. My interests include things like a 20 hour work week and a $20 per hour minimum wage and so forth, items that are clearly built around satisfying and uplifting the working-man wage-slave of which I am one, often enough.

Of course nobody really speaks up for me in that respect. Nobody comes out and tries even to relieve the burden of work that's on everyone – and this I don't really like. Work is a strange thing, it seems timeless and inevitable, and it's sold as such, but it's neither. Really it's pretty new, give Middletown another read maybe. Really it's pretty abstract an idea – that you've got all this extra time on your hands – you should be tasked with things to do – and in exchange, disposable income. It's pretty entrenched now though – to the point where there are attempts – maybe successful ones, to make you look down on those who don't do it. Like work is a virtue – not a right or expectation or even a burden – but a privilege. Which, well, I don't see it that way at all. Rather – Work is a functional means to re-trench wealth in the hands of the few – and to generate income for the state. This second was the key for me. Sure – you kind of know, whenever you punch the clock that whatever it is you're doing – it's all in aid of making someone very rich just a little richer – all the while you have just exactly as much as you need to have a life that doesn't include thoughts of rebellion or dissent.

But sure, the state has figured out that taxing your work is useful too. The transformation of the state into the corporatist system we're a part of is related to that, sure – it's all early-20^th century stuff, all part and piece of the same events. Cities got rich by attracting industry and workers and the nation took note and followed along – taxing work and entrenching work as the essential fact of human existence. Which is peculiar. Then you've got a rise in the value of commodities, property – rents go up, the consumer banking industry blossoms – all in the 20's & 30's – and these were real reversals, substantive changes in the way things were done.

Nowadays it's the expected form, it's the done thing – you figure out how to have a job and then you have a job – and then you stop having a job and then you die. The substance of your life is a series of tasks that are compensated and taxed and which are unrelated to any substantive development of, I dunno – the self? Art? Produce? All the things you might turn your hands to are commodified and made saleable and your labor etc... You're not dumb, you've read your Marx and etc... You're clever.

And maybe that's all harmless after all – maybe you really didn't have anything better to do than say – trade your surplus labor for money. That's fine no? It's fine-ish anyway. But you know – the aperture is opened to this most frustrating angle where you see just what it is that the emperor is wearing and every time the questions are asked you start to think – well, why not this third thing? Why is this a question? Why is this being decided at all? You start to see the mistake of it all. You hear people questioning the motives of the founders and hardly anyone saying – “Well fuck those guys anyway.”

Which is a hard place to be – feeling like the liver-cell of a drunk.