(no subject)
Dec. 3rd, 2013 02:55 pmSomeone gave me these old photos of when I was a teenager. They're kind of embarrassing but kind of satisfying too. I mean - what a kid, I was like a goddammed saucer-man. For real - many, many beaded necklaces (my ersatz Mr. T), all these hideous bright colored paisley shirts (Value. City.), top it off with absurd hair and a raccoon-skin cap and sunglasses. I mean - what the fuck kind of person was I? A fucking saucerman. Raccoon-Skin Cap, whadda Genius.
I don't know man, I was not like other people? I kind of wish that the people I knew then were around to comment - but also - I don't wish that. At all.
I guess there's something to be said about breaking the mold, going your own way, finding the root of who you are in your personal style expression? I guess. I mean. Fine yes. I did that / do that. Kind of I wish I still had a raccoonskin cap to wear around. Hideous paisley shirts are in now though, and I just... I don't wear jewelry so there's that.
Why did I think of that? Late Capitalism's American Tom Sawyer gets high on you in the space he invades he wears a raccoonskin cap. I never was a Tom Sawyer though. Probably I'm Injun Joe.
Should I just go to stream of consciousness rambling? I'm feeling like I'm wandering in a pasture, like I'm an animal in the pasture, one that doesn't run fast - or that gets angry when he has to. I got so mad the other day, I ran to catch a bus nothing makes me angry like running does. How I hate it. Being hurried at all really, but physically running is my antagonist. So I'm in the pasture and I'm content, kind of, but I want to jump over the really not very high fence, just sometimes, I want to jump the fence and go out and explore around - but I want to be able to come back too. Vacation? Maybe I just need to get out more.
At thanksgiving people were attempting to foment some kind of rage about the American project of Indian Removal, but I... I didn't see that as the right time? It just seems a non-sequitur to me. Thanksgiving is from the 19th century, Lincoln invented it for heavens' sakes. And heck, he opposed Jackson making it a policy, so there's that too. I think Lincoln is the president that grows on you, the one you end up thinking of as the good one - like Augustus, the only good Caesar, and then, still not that good a dude. I'm more circumspect about this than a lot of people, I think that the quality of leadership that people have is reflective of the quality of the people themselves. Shitty people get shitty leadership, that's what I've observed.
I started to think about what it is that hates the rich people of our country. I mean, I do hate those people, but you know? How come? I mean, once you get past the exploitation and debauchery there's the simple reality of competition for resources. You're outcompeted and that turns to a burning resentment - remember, if someone has something, that means they won it from you. It could have been yours! So you look at the modes of competition and realize that the way that you can get something is a fairly circumscribed route - there's not that many paths that can be taken and alternatives are demolished by the winners as they go -to bury the path behind them so they can't be followed. You see the alternatives - let's say organizing the workplace and forming your own religious authority - or starting your own business - and these things get you somewhere, but go to far and you're suddenly an actual competitor - to be competed with and defeated, to be taken or arrested. I just think about this. I mean, you look at a list of the richest people - I think 90% of them, I could take in a straight fight. I could beat them senseless and take all their things - but that mode of competition isn't allowed, there's just the one way to 'compete' and it's created by the people who've already got everything. So you end up having to look for ways to get around the main economy.
More and more I think about this - about abandoning the mainstream economy and starting a parallel marketplace. Why not? Why not more of that?
Whatever, bitcoins, whatever, black marketing.

I realized that for inspiration I'm going to lean pretty heavy on the Airtight Garage of Jerry Cornelius. I sure wish I still had some of that to look at in person, print.

Now I repeat to myself: "I won't collect comics, I won't collect comics, I won't collect comics." Especially weird french ones, like I did when I was a teenaged saucer-man.