Penguins and Polar Bears

Circadian Rhythms aren't what they used to be. I put it on the 20mg of melatonin I've been leaning on lately. Not the smart thing, what with the seasonal affective whatsit, but here's my move, that I'm adopting lately - I sleep all the time.

I doubt there's not one man in one million men as pro-sleep as me. It's the best possible use of your time! The best. In particular, it's very very cold. I'm tired of explaining this, I feel like it's too much, but then, there is another polar vortex, and it's going well below zero again tonight. The wind-chill is factored in all the time and usually it doesn't mean anything, but I can feel it, through my gloves and scarf and coat, I can feel the wind biting. Like a steel trap on me, like teeth biting down. It's not just wearying because it's wearying, it's exhausting, going out in it. I walk on the street because the sidewalks are all drifted over and the plows just drive more snow up onto them. It's past my calves now and I don't think there will be another thaw, not in weeks. Not in many days at least. I don't want to just go on about the cold, I just want to mention it in case I look back and try to remember what was happening. It's cold, terribly so, and I have no where to go and nothing really to do. So I sleep, I sleep a lot. It's the best possible use of your time.


Tonight guest stars Agatha, we're both going to be home tomorrow, so she's staying tonight. We're watching old cartoons and eating pizza and I'm sleepy. I wake up just before 4 anymore, take time to take showers and clean up each morning, apply vigorous amounts of lotion. At night I soak my feet in the warm water of the tub. I've gone through 2 pairs of boots in the last 4 months, walking hard and now it's holes in boots and wet socks and sub-zero temperatures and well. Well, it's just another thing to make you tired, to add to the exhaustion. Shut in, cabin fever. I've got my light at the middle of February now, but then it makes it all seem so much farther away besides, to have that anticipation.

It's cold outside. I really... It's cold outside. Hardest thing in the world to think of another thing to say. The day follows the night, the spring follows the winter - I saw the sun today, bright and glaring up from the ground, I saw the sun today, bright as ever, shining and I thought, the spring can't come far behind. Pizza and Batman tonight, family style in the warm center of the tiny world I inhabit, but with all the sleeping, you couldn't barely call this living. I wanna sleep for two weeks and stay off the ice.