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Mar. 4th, 2014 09:11 pm4 Years.
The last 4 have been really important. I remember now, and I can look back.
You know - the hardest thing was the reversal, but the best thing was that I could do the reversal. This with Danielle - who was reckless and crazily inconstant - it was on me - I felt it was - to be the parent that had stability and was the same. Then, I had to go and move. Christ - remember when I moved in with Melchior and Kaspar? When we were the wise men? It's weird to think that's 4 years ago Now. Because of all the things - that seems like a few days ago.
Perspective's weird like that- but I feel a distance from college, I feel a distance from my young self, my pre-recession self, my pre-fatherhood self. Those are all places and faces, not worn anymore, unrecognizable except by scent - you know? Except by the memories and the people I know from then.
But my current iteration - had it's nascence just 4 years ago, almost to the day. Give up on constance, discard all of your possessions and move to the fight club house. The wise-men's house the gaming house.
It was too good to last. That's how it was. You know, I got so much action in that house- so much... I got around, which is kind of my way, but the other fellas, they're the ones that went on to fall into love, to abandon and forbid, to make the big changes and the stern demands. It came to them and I didn't see it - cause they were alone, and I was always dating. So that's what I figured out, in the house on the hill.
And do you know, I've had to sign a different lease every year since then? It's been a crazy few years - it's been a miracle and a surprise, and I've often been amazed that I've been able to walk away from any of this, that I've even survived. 4 years and it's felt like yesterday that I became this version of myself - not the best version, but the most considered, the most deliberate.
I need to mention it just to mention, it's worth a note, a comment or a mention. Man.
Man...
The last 4 have been really important. I remember now, and I can look back.
You know - the hardest thing was the reversal, but the best thing was that I could do the reversal. This with Danielle - who was reckless and crazily inconstant - it was on me - I felt it was - to be the parent that had stability and was the same. Then, I had to go and move. Christ - remember when I moved in with Melchior and Kaspar? When we were the wise men? It's weird to think that's 4 years ago Now. Because of all the things - that seems like a few days ago.
Perspective's weird like that- but I feel a distance from college, I feel a distance from my young self, my pre-recession self, my pre-fatherhood self. Those are all places and faces, not worn anymore, unrecognizable except by scent - you know? Except by the memories and the people I know from then.
But my current iteration - had it's nascence just 4 years ago, almost to the day. Give up on constance, discard all of your possessions and move to the fight club house. The wise-men's house the gaming house.
It was too good to last. That's how it was. You know, I got so much action in that house- so much... I got around, which is kind of my way, but the other fellas, they're the ones that went on to fall into love, to abandon and forbid, to make the big changes and the stern demands. It came to them and I didn't see it - cause they were alone, and I was always dating. So that's what I figured out, in the house on the hill.
And do you know, I've had to sign a different lease every year since then? It's been a crazy few years - it's been a miracle and a surprise, and I've often been amazed that I've been able to walk away from any of this, that I've even survived. 4 years and it's felt like yesterday that I became this version of myself - not the best version, but the most considered, the most deliberate.
I need to mention it just to mention, it's worth a note, a comment or a mention. Man.
Man...
