(no subject)

Aw, remember when we were the 3 wise men? Balthasar, Melchior & Caspar? That situation had to break up in a kind of tumult - and now, this is years ago, and yet. The founder of the feast, so to speak, ended up falling into love. Not in a way that any outside observer could feel good about. She was unpleasant often, unemployed/able, and just not a smart person. We couldn't get it - me and the other wise man. One day, he comes home & has a ring and says he's going to. It's his way - to be impulsive, immediate, he's the type that listens to a record 100 times in a row, loving something into the ground. He shows me the ring, sitting at the kitchen, I'm on my way out the back door as he pulls the box out of his pocket. For this, I need to be smoking. "I'm gonna marry her." I realize that my household will fall because of this, I realize my good times will end because of this. I don't speak up because I'm worried about it. I can't be so ruthless. I do speak up though - because he shouldn't do it. He shouldn't. "Don't do this." I say. I look him in the eye and don't smile or laugh. I say: "Don't marry her."

"I want to."

"Don't do it."

"I'm going to."

So that's three requests. I asked three times and that's all the intervention I'll do.

Anyhow they got married - me and Melchior or was it Caspar moved out and started up again in my current neighborhood - right up until Caspar - or was it Balthasar went and did the same thing. Fall into love, find romance, move on. By then I was used to it. The thought of a commune or team-living seemed all too remote and futile, in the end. If love can ruin your situation - your situation wasn't that good. That's what I said. And as well, if your situation is predicated on love - well, your situation is stupid. That's me though - having had a low opinion of love from youthful small times - that's bullshit for suckers - is what I think & know.

But this week, poor Melchior - founder of the house. I mean, these are my friends - we keep in touch, we hang out when we can - gamer-bros you get me? Pals. When I started living with him it was because he hated to be alone and was trying for roommates. Now his wife & baby-son are gone away a week on vacation - so he's lonesome & returning to his roots & life. He's seeing how it could be or was, I don't know- I'm not saying that people have a revelation & quit their shitty marriages because of them. People really don't do that & I contend it's gross if you do - however - it's pretty funny to be instantly brought back and have him after me to be around and friendly - what with him being ungood at solitude & hateful of being alone - so it's been all week of datenite with him - hangouts & funnyness. It's good to have friendship.

Back at his house he's go the psychology books - and he's got the marriage counseling, he's on the phone with his vacationing wife & there's stern words but no raised voices. I tell him about this:

"I ride the bus, and on the bus people live their lives all around you - everything is shared with you. People are on the phone & they are having conversations - they're shouting or being shouted at, there are very aggressive words - people are yelling at each other - and this, I do not understand."

"So that's what happens, when you're with someone. Don't you ever get yelled at? Don't you ever deal with that?"

And really I don't. I mean, if you raised your voice to me I'd hang up, I'd stop talking to you, block your number- why the fuck would I get yelled at? Why would anyone.

I don't get it you people. You people are nuts.