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Sep. 20th, 2018 10:38 am I saw the captain marvel trailer & the filmmakers chose to use blockbuster as the indicator of the '90's. My old nemesis - we meet again. I was actually kind of angry, seeing it again. Stupid blockbuster. I beat you! I did.
Man, what else. I've been avoiding my mother & she hasn't pressed the point. I haven't called or visited in a while now. She knows why, I'm not mad, it's just too sad for me to face. I wish she'd be able to get out of the house & come to me but that's not available. I feel terribly guilty about it. But I'm also fairly immune to guilt as a motivator so there it is. I don't want to face my own actual nightmare and so I don't, even though it's probably going to spoil my family's already broken dynamic.
I should move away, start a new family. That's what I think all the time. Run-away-run-away-run-away. Fukkin Alzheimers tho.
Man, what else. I've been avoiding my mother & she hasn't pressed the point. I haven't called or visited in a while now. She knows why, I'm not mad, it's just too sad for me to face. I wish she'd be able to get out of the house & come to me but that's not available. I feel terribly guilty about it. But I'm also fairly immune to guilt as a motivator so there it is. I don't want to face my own actual nightmare and so I don't, even though it's probably going to spoil my family's already broken dynamic.
I should move away, start a new family. That's what I think all the time. Run-away-run-away-run-away. Fukkin Alzheimers tho.
