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Oct. 16th, 2018 08:36 am Let's think about the things that are ongoing I guess. I guess.
I'm getting back on this writing train - for a while it'd been mainly the Pictures train? Crafts bus. But I should resume my old ways, go to the relied upon but neglected skill that brought me up in life. So when I need to be writing the way to do it, to get the dust off the fingers is to type away, type away type away all the words here, just to start. It is by typing alone that I set my mind in motion it is by the motion of the keys that thoughts acquire coherence. You have to write your way toward an idea and then redact all the parts that preceded it. That's the way it works, so this is where I get out the ideas as they're developing.
Julie is looking for a phone so she can start on a project of video-diagramming the geography of Northeast Ohio - getting back to the human geography angle. I really hope she goes somewhere with this plan as it relates to a project I've thought of doing.
On Wednesdays we play that Waterdeep game & I don't know from Waterdeep - I'd forgotten all about the realms... wah wah. But they're there and they're well known so I was looking up videos about lore & history & there's so many and so many very, very annoying ones. Lore videos, who knew? But yes, there's all kinds of channels & documentaries about fictional lands. So after my training seminar on the properest uses of MS Dynamics I had one interlocutor come back to me and get kinda sexy at me about how my voice is smooth & good - and once a lady I really was into said a similar thing - so I thought - Lore Videos?
Anyhow, I'll make some down the way here - about my own lores, my own thing. I'm working on that right now - I bet it'll develop in an interesting way - the History of the Sword of the West is the one I'll try and figure out. I have whole plans.
Meanwhile I hijacked the saturday game and it's going to be a new test-run of In The Ruins - which is... I'm so scattered game-design wise.
I play with making & modding my own engine all the time - but it's too abstract for me to hold- I get deep into weeds about how to properly quantify storytelling & then all caught up in thinking on alchemy. Some people wanted to remake war-games & I'm thinking about remaking OPERA. That's what's up - but ITR is part of the Old School Renaissance & is a Frankenstein of original recipe & bolted on additions - really kitchen-sink style stuff (with an unhealthy dose of the Kabbalah... Because of course). It's easy- is what I mean, to make & to run & to design & think about. It's Old & It's Familiar. So I'm making effort there. I'll run these kids on the Tricks of Treachery Isle - which is my Halloween 1-2 Shot - to get them started. I'm not going to get it to print in time to get a copy to Agatha, which is a shame - because she's got her Thursday afternoon D&D club at art-school & I thought it'd be neat to give her a mod to run. I'll probably print it out for her and she can have it to have - and maybe even use- but it'd be cooler to have the real-deal book to run.
Note to self- More writing mods & less making rules.
Which is back to work-type thinking - working. I do this a lot. Last night I was all in the mood after work - and was writing & making on the bus, and then got home & put on Dr. House and sat on the couch and made and made & soon enough there was a whole season of television that I'd failed to notice watching. Just noise in the background - which is helpful. To have that, people around who aren't talking to you.
It occurred to me that I was getting lonely. That's such a complicated problem right? You want someone, that will love you. Or like you or want to be around you - but you want to accomplish things - things that require solitude & attention. That's a tough, tough, tough pancake for most people. I give pretty good attention, when I give it. I dunno. I don't know if I should think about it - if I should strive for solitude, plan to be alone, or if I should give up on these interests & take an interest in others, try to seek & have love.
But I get so exhausted. Problems & feelings - they wear me out. Like sitting through all those 2 hour meetings about accounting practices - the mental discipline to be invested in these situations... I don't have it. On Friday last I was all energetic and ready for a weekend - something! Do something! And I made a mistake and had an hourlong phone call with a lady & listened to her many problems & many feelings & was immediately sapped of all pep.
That's the way that goes, you know. Feelings & problems are as disagreeable as work, as meetings at a job. I'm always confused by people's enthusiasm for these things. I know you really want to think about your job & work & everything all the time but did you know you could also be imagining what it's like to be Superman? You could be visiting other planets & seeing miracles. Maybe people aren't good at imagining.
That's the impression I get living in the world, which is the world you'd make if you and a billion other people without dreams or ambitions beyond the absurd & mundane decided to build themselves a prison. Argle-Bargle - contempt for civilization.
Lately I've been too caught up in civilization. I was doing laundry the other day and was surprised when this fabulously attractive & fully costumed goth-girl was doing laundry in my building. Dunno where she lives in the place. Just muttered hellos - laundry time is a Bad Time & not the kind of situation that breeds amity. But I'm going back to switch to the dryer & thinking - Why do I assume that all conversations I might have will turn out to be displeasing? I mean - I imagine way more confrontational encounters with strangers than I do pleasant ones. You need to assume that you're going to encounter people who think you're cool & want to talk to you - if you're facing the world & lately I keep assuming I'll meet people who want to fight me. That's weird. Nobody wants to fight me. I gotta watch where this negativity comes from. I blame the president mainly though.
I'm getting back on this writing train - for a while it'd been mainly the Pictures train? Crafts bus. But I should resume my old ways, go to the relied upon but neglected skill that brought me up in life. So when I need to be writing the way to do it, to get the dust off the fingers is to type away, type away type away all the words here, just to start. It is by typing alone that I set my mind in motion it is by the motion of the keys that thoughts acquire coherence. You have to write your way toward an idea and then redact all the parts that preceded it. That's the way it works, so this is where I get out the ideas as they're developing.
Julie is looking for a phone so she can start on a project of video-diagramming the geography of Northeast Ohio - getting back to the human geography angle. I really hope she goes somewhere with this plan as it relates to a project I've thought of doing.
On Wednesdays we play that Waterdeep game & I don't know from Waterdeep - I'd forgotten all about the realms... wah wah. But they're there and they're well known so I was looking up videos about lore & history & there's so many and so many very, very annoying ones. Lore videos, who knew? But yes, there's all kinds of channels & documentaries about fictional lands. So after my training seminar on the properest uses of MS Dynamics I had one interlocutor come back to me and get kinda sexy at me about how my voice is smooth & good - and once a lady I really was into said a similar thing - so I thought - Lore Videos?
Anyhow, I'll make some down the way here - about my own lores, my own thing. I'm working on that right now - I bet it'll develop in an interesting way - the History of the Sword of the West is the one I'll try and figure out. I have whole plans.
Meanwhile I hijacked the saturday game and it's going to be a new test-run of In The Ruins - which is... I'm so scattered game-design wise.
I play with making & modding my own engine all the time - but it's too abstract for me to hold- I get deep into weeds about how to properly quantify storytelling & then all caught up in thinking on alchemy. Some people wanted to remake war-games & I'm thinking about remaking OPERA. That's what's up - but ITR is part of the Old School Renaissance & is a Frankenstein of original recipe & bolted on additions - really kitchen-sink style stuff (with an unhealthy dose of the Kabbalah... Because of course). It's easy- is what I mean, to make & to run & to design & think about. It's Old & It's Familiar. So I'm making effort there. I'll run these kids on the Tricks of Treachery Isle - which is my Halloween 1-2 Shot - to get them started. I'm not going to get it to print in time to get a copy to Agatha, which is a shame - because she's got her Thursday afternoon D&D club at art-school & I thought it'd be neat to give her a mod to run. I'll probably print it out for her and she can have it to have - and maybe even use- but it'd be cooler to have the real-deal book to run.
Note to self- More writing mods & less making rules.
Which is back to work-type thinking - working. I do this a lot. Last night I was all in the mood after work - and was writing & making on the bus, and then got home & put on Dr. House and sat on the couch and made and made & soon enough there was a whole season of television that I'd failed to notice watching. Just noise in the background - which is helpful. To have that, people around who aren't talking to you.
It occurred to me that I was getting lonely. That's such a complicated problem right? You want someone, that will love you. Or like you or want to be around you - but you want to accomplish things - things that require solitude & attention. That's a tough, tough, tough pancake for most people. I give pretty good attention, when I give it. I dunno. I don't know if I should think about it - if I should strive for solitude, plan to be alone, or if I should give up on these interests & take an interest in others, try to seek & have love.
But I get so exhausted. Problems & feelings - they wear me out. Like sitting through all those 2 hour meetings about accounting practices - the mental discipline to be invested in these situations... I don't have it. On Friday last I was all energetic and ready for a weekend - something! Do something! And I made a mistake and had an hourlong phone call with a lady & listened to her many problems & many feelings & was immediately sapped of all pep.
That's the way that goes, you know. Feelings & problems are as disagreeable as work, as meetings at a job. I'm always confused by people's enthusiasm for these things. I know you really want to think about your job & work & everything all the time but did you know you could also be imagining what it's like to be Superman? You could be visiting other planets & seeing miracles. Maybe people aren't good at imagining.
That's the impression I get living in the world, which is the world you'd make if you and a billion other people without dreams or ambitions beyond the absurd & mundane decided to build themselves a prison. Argle-Bargle - contempt for civilization.
Lately I've been too caught up in civilization. I was doing laundry the other day and was surprised when this fabulously attractive & fully costumed goth-girl was doing laundry in my building. Dunno where she lives in the place. Just muttered hellos - laundry time is a Bad Time & not the kind of situation that breeds amity. But I'm going back to switch to the dryer & thinking - Why do I assume that all conversations I might have will turn out to be displeasing? I mean - I imagine way more confrontational encounters with strangers than I do pleasant ones. You need to assume that you're going to encounter people who think you're cool & want to talk to you - if you're facing the world & lately I keep assuming I'll meet people who want to fight me. That's weird. Nobody wants to fight me. I gotta watch where this negativity comes from. I blame the president mainly though.
