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Sep. 19th, 2019 08:16 am I think I must have been about 14? At the orthodontist's office you have to sit in the reclined chair waiting for your turn & the hygienists are commenting about the appointment book & the one is explaining that she wrote the patient's name in red ink because he's hot. The other hygienistis scowly & dismissive- not in an affable way - disgusted. The sexy hygienist is sexy & does a slight dance.
I thought about that a lot for a long time. I don't know if before that I understood the idea that dudes could be hot. Like - I was a maniac teen & figured all girls & women were hot because of how they are women & that is hot. That's teenaged mania - but I never did figure out for myself that it could be the other way around. Like- that you could attract ladies back.
So I wonder how that shit was so mysterious to a person right? How fucked up is your life if you're having to figure that out for yourself?
I don't know why I am considering this today. I woke up thinking about it. Maybe it was a dream.
I need to work on my mind for a while - I need to move my thoughts into a different direction because I think I'm getting ready to do a Great Work again. So Maybe I'll write in my diary more - as it is a way to give thoughts speed.
I thought about that a lot for a long time. I don't know if before that I understood the idea that dudes could be hot. Like - I was a maniac teen & figured all girls & women were hot because of how they are women & that is hot. That's teenaged mania - but I never did figure out for myself that it could be the other way around. Like- that you could attract ladies back.
So I wonder how that shit was so mysterious to a person right? How fucked up is your life if you're having to figure that out for yourself?
I don't know why I am considering this today. I woke up thinking about it. Maybe it was a dream.
I need to work on my mind for a while - I need to move my thoughts into a different direction because I think I'm getting ready to do a Great Work again. So Maybe I'll write in my diary more - as it is a way to give thoughts speed.
