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I think my ma's dog ate my remote. The TV is very loud now because the last thing we watched wasn't well mixed audio-wise. Psycho-Goreman, for the curious. Directly in the wheelhouse of a youthful hero called Agatha. That kid is at college now. Today. Went off to go to CIA for summer classes, - AP style classes, but you know, expensive. Split 3 ways it's still pricy. No father's day. We had supper last night instead - Tommy's the regular. Favorite. One of her chums' father's band was playing down the way for Juneteenth. That went well. The band - choir? A good show. I wasn't out fr songs though - personal Father/Daughter time - conversations over meals. That's the done thing. Primate bonding. We had the good time. And then off she goes, to college. Glad for her lone adventure. Her solitary journey.
I've raved to her for years & years on the benefits of the solitary way- she's not yet seen it, or anyway had much chance. Hopes you know, for her.
Solitary. I'm in a dreamlike state today - for a while actually. Days. I've taken to long walks after work. Down through the cemetery. It's very beautiful, in the summer, it's perfect. Red oaks in canopy, the green roof, the wound bark rafters. It's pretty. IN the way thatnatural vistas, scenes - they'r epretty in the way that depth & color make them irreproduceable via photogrophy r other arts. Perfect. There's a dream in them, the way that dreams are visions of what is - the brain speaking to the mind, telling pretty stories of unseen things. And dreamlike is the world thereafter. In dreams.
Dreams are what your real self has to tell you about the world outside you. Solitude - that's where you live with only impulses, perceptions - you can eradicate the self - to a point. The self being only the story that you tell about the origin point of your senses, the self as reflected by the experience of others. No others is no self, is only experience - like life in dreams. Here are dreams in denial of self. The life equation I guess.
So work is satisfied & satsfying. I'm on my way to the train, well - in the small hours of the morning I will be - to chicago to visit the disobeybie, after all that time. Not that much time. She asks after me for a visit so I make one. Here & there. I'll see what the train is like - stupid of me not to have tried it yet. Journeys & we'l see what the amtrak does for me. Maybe I'll make my way on the train, over & over & ride it and work there? A new office on wheels? Who's to say but we'll see what we see. We. Me & myself & I makes we, I guess.
So these are the ways jus tnow. Idyllic in summer. I"ve spent some time lately packing my things. Moving to the nice place, nicer anyway - hopefully actually nice. Same neighborhood. I go for a walk in the afternoon to get slices & chocolate & think about walking the cemetery again. & think, well where else would I go? I really like my town on a hill. A lot. It's best just now, in the dead of summer. Green & vital, rabbits & the robins all at work living. I feel like I am breaking out of something. Going free.
I've raved to her for years & years on the benefits of the solitary way- she's not yet seen it, or anyway had much chance. Hopes you know, for her.
Solitary. I'm in a dreamlike state today - for a while actually. Days. I've taken to long walks after work. Down through the cemetery. It's very beautiful, in the summer, it's perfect. Red oaks in canopy, the green roof, the wound bark rafters. It's pretty. IN the way thatnatural vistas, scenes - they'r epretty in the way that depth & color make them irreproduceable via photogrophy r other arts. Perfect. There's a dream in them, the way that dreams are visions of what is - the brain speaking to the mind, telling pretty stories of unseen things. And dreamlike is the world thereafter. In dreams.
Dreams are what your real self has to tell you about the world outside you. Solitude - that's where you live with only impulses, perceptions - you can eradicate the self - to a point. The self being only the story that you tell about the origin point of your senses, the self as reflected by the experience of others. No others is no self, is only experience - like life in dreams. Here are dreams in denial of self. The life equation I guess.
So work is satisfied & satsfying. I'm on my way to the train, well - in the small hours of the morning I will be - to chicago to visit the disobeybie, after all that time. Not that much time. She asks after me for a visit so I make one. Here & there. I'll see what the train is like - stupid of me not to have tried it yet. Journeys & we'l see what the amtrak does for me. Maybe I'll make my way on the train, over & over & ride it and work there? A new office on wheels? Who's to say but we'll see what we see. We. Me & myself & I makes we, I guess.
So these are the ways jus tnow. Idyllic in summer. I"ve spent some time lately packing my things. Moving to the nice place, nicer anyway - hopefully actually nice. Same neighborhood. I go for a walk in the afternoon to get slices & chocolate & think about walking the cemetery again. & think, well where else would I go? I really like my town on a hill. A lot. It's best just now, in the dead of summer. Green & vital, rabbits & the robins all at work living. I feel like I am breaking out of something. Going free.
