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kingtycoonReally I should get to this more. That's how all the posts that are once-annually made here by lapsed livejournalists go. It's true, I don't super need the validation & attention of strangers anymore which is alright, but also limits your utility as a person. Without those needs how can you be grasped & handled by the rest!?
I had a pretty alright '21. I got this job & it's been good. I have to go to PA every so often & the arrangement is that I pay my mother & borrow her car. Then I go there & live in a hotel & it's a big waste of everyone's time & money - but they like for me to be there. And really - me being there is important too. I have the rare nice smile & pleasant voice in the IT department, I'm likeable & when you go to the office to be likeable every month or so - it just gets them all back on your side. Now. Aside from one brief & unfortunate bit of shame, when my ma & my kid's ma both decided to cash old checks at once leaving me pretty much stranded in Pittsburgh (my bank's not here! I want to cash a check! I'm overdrawn & can't!) I've kept the comma in the old bank account all year long. That's been good.
I moved to a fancy apartment, had disputes with the neighbors & the landlord & finally did something I probably aught to have done which is buy myself this little house.
I wasn't sure if I'd stay in CLE or go somewhere else or do... Anything - it could have been anything. But then A says she's going to CIA for college & will be here on the full ride for 4 years, I don't know. I decided to stay. I sold some crypto & got a loan & bought myself a house, it's going pretty well since November- the most expensive month of my life. Moved in December, so I'm still getting used to it. No curtains yet, for instance. Figuring it out as I go. I think things are good, for now, for a while. Or anyhow...
This month has been hard. My best relative got Covid & died. My Auntie who I lived with for all those years. All our cousins & my kid & my brother & sister's kids - all the people who were raised by her. Shit. I don't think I've ever been as sad as I was at Liza's funeral. We're walking to the grave & I'm telling Agatha - "I think if I could understand the whole service, if it wasn't all in Arabic - I think it wouldn't have been surreal enough & I would have just died from sorrow." I can't remember if she agreed. My poor auntie. She died in the same hospital where once she & I held her mother's hand while she died. All alone though, for her, no handholding because Covid is the worst. I guess she slept through it all though. There's that at least. Tata Habashiyea - I remember how her eyes rolled back & how she croaked at us - she hadn't been awake in moths & then she was screaming & rasping to the end.
I started to think - why did I stay in Cleveland. Then the electic company turned off my lights. That was Thursday & not till Saturday did they get back to it & that's lucky because of the terrific storm all night & relentless snow on the ground. I'd freeze to death in the dark because the meter reader got drunk? No explanations have been given yet - it's absurd, no one can tell me why this happened so I'm going with drunk meter reader.
Anyhow, without shit to do at home in the dark & cold I wandered the slightly new neighborhood & got acquainted with aspects. I'm in the same town for 10 years now but I changed from the Coventry neighborhood to the Cedar Lee neighborhood which are separated by like, a mile. And a lot of expectations. Coventry is in worse shape lately - corporate landlords & tougher times for businesses. Cedar Lee's got like 2 breweries now. I had an alright time walking around. I thin A will try to work at the movie theater - I suggested it. Movies are good job for youths.
This is always better when there are details peppered in, color & scent, things to make the journalism more evocative. There's just snow though, and comfort & lament.
I had a pretty alright '21. I got this job & it's been good. I have to go to PA every so often & the arrangement is that I pay my mother & borrow her car. Then I go there & live in a hotel & it's a big waste of everyone's time & money - but they like for me to be there. And really - me being there is important too. I have the rare nice smile & pleasant voice in the IT department, I'm likeable & when you go to the office to be likeable every month or so - it just gets them all back on your side. Now. Aside from one brief & unfortunate bit of shame, when my ma & my kid's ma both decided to cash old checks at once leaving me pretty much stranded in Pittsburgh (my bank's not here! I want to cash a check! I'm overdrawn & can't!) I've kept the comma in the old bank account all year long. That's been good.
I moved to a fancy apartment, had disputes with the neighbors & the landlord & finally did something I probably aught to have done which is buy myself this little house.
I wasn't sure if I'd stay in CLE or go somewhere else or do... Anything - it could have been anything. But then A says she's going to CIA for college & will be here on the full ride for 4 years, I don't know. I decided to stay. I sold some crypto & got a loan & bought myself a house, it's going pretty well since November- the most expensive month of my life. Moved in December, so I'm still getting used to it. No curtains yet, for instance. Figuring it out as I go. I think things are good, for now, for a while. Or anyhow...
This month has been hard. My best relative got Covid & died. My Auntie who I lived with for all those years. All our cousins & my kid & my brother & sister's kids - all the people who were raised by her. Shit. I don't think I've ever been as sad as I was at Liza's funeral. We're walking to the grave & I'm telling Agatha - "I think if I could understand the whole service, if it wasn't all in Arabic - I think it wouldn't have been surreal enough & I would have just died from sorrow." I can't remember if she agreed. My poor auntie. She died in the same hospital where once she & I held her mother's hand while she died. All alone though, for her, no handholding because Covid is the worst. I guess she slept through it all though. There's that at least. Tata Habashiyea - I remember how her eyes rolled back & how she croaked at us - she hadn't been awake in moths & then she was screaming & rasping to the end.
I started to think - why did I stay in Cleveland. Then the electic company turned off my lights. That was Thursday & not till Saturday did they get back to it & that's lucky because of the terrific storm all night & relentless snow on the ground. I'd freeze to death in the dark because the meter reader got drunk? No explanations have been given yet - it's absurd, no one can tell me why this happened so I'm going with drunk meter reader.
Anyhow, without shit to do at home in the dark & cold I wandered the slightly new neighborhood & got acquainted with aspects. I'm in the same town for 10 years now but I changed from the Coventry neighborhood to the Cedar Lee neighborhood which are separated by like, a mile. And a lot of expectations. Coventry is in worse shape lately - corporate landlords & tougher times for businesses. Cedar Lee's got like 2 breweries now. I had an alright time walking around. I thin A will try to work at the movie theater - I suggested it. Movies are good job for youths.
This is always better when there are details peppered in, color & scent, things to make the journalism more evocative. There's just snow though, and comfort & lament.
