Mar. 23rd, 2016

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The difficulty here is in having the proper thing to say - see - everything is going fine & Everything is Alright.  Peaceable.

Our March Party of future-sport went down and was gratifying and fun.  Agatha was MVP of Whirlyball & J-Faw and his sister won all the medals for Laser-Sport.  Laser-Sport!  Also, I did actually buy medals to distribute & hand out and hopefully keep going from year to year.  I like my traditions & rituals, but I like Mine - not so much the observance of others which I see as arbitrary and lame.

Speaking of which - easter.  Still don't get a day off work, so still could give a fuck about easter.  Good friday is coming.  I tell Agatha on Sunday - this, long after we've whirled the balls and sported lasers - after we've been disappointed by our family's business and lack of proper attendance ( we fielded teams & so on, but people were cancelling at the last minute & so on... Soooo Egyptian....).  We are chilling out on Sunday because that is the best.  She used her cash-money prizes to get Minecraft and while I didn't get the appeal at first it's pretty sweet to have a game we can play together.  I'd been pretty disappointed with the xbone's over-representation of the Call of Battlefield style game - which has zero appeal to me.  So Minecraft.  We play it up crazy until we get hungry.  She's got it in her mind to go to the restaraunt sportsbar for dinner so we do.  I think she's amused by how I mock the TV and fans of sports.  Fans of anything really - but watching people play a game..  I just hate that, probably because I assume there's gambling involved.  Don't watch but do is my longstanding position.

They were playing some TV musical version of the Passion Play instead though - so I had to explain the story to A over fried pickles.  See this is Judas - you probably don't meet a lot of people named Judas and here's why!  The whole story of Jesu-Christo and the Passion, I lay it out for her.  "This friday, we call Good Friday because it's the day that people killed god".

It's strange to me that she doesn't know this stuff back & forth like I did at 13.  It's cool to me that she's not being driven crazy by enforced beleifs and whatnot too - I wouldn't put religion on another person let alone my own kid, but there's definitely a feeling of loss - loss of the rigorous knowledge I guess.

At my birthday comes B. Dean - old & dear friend.  We end up sidebarring for a lot of the day and catching up and up.  We end up going back to religious discussion because of course - we were thrown to those wolves together all those years ago.  I explain that my position re.: religious faith we reminisce about how the fatal blow to either of our theological delusions was 11th grade Apologetics class - where we worked through some books that a bright high school kid could definitely see the fallacies & lack of logical rigor present in the logic.  How these things wither under scrutiny and how the attempt to steel us against dissent provoked it.

The complexity of thinking though - and the analytical skills that being perpetually lied to nurture, as well as all the trival but literarily significant elements of scripture - the loss of those things I see as a loss, as a deficiency for kiddo.  Will she not understand Prufrock without a proper classical education?

It's a strange lament for lost things - for lost things that upon consideation seem to have no value.  And in the end how much of youyourself is made up of these arcane artifacts of old ideas & your own navigation of discredited notions.


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