![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jul. 4th, 2013 12:29 amDear the Internet. You know sometimes things don’t work, programs fail, there are outages. And then I open up a text editor and there it is, always ready, always happy to just record words. That’s a comfort, The Internet, old friend. There are words and they are made of the electrons going through the labyrinth of the processor. They journey far and then dissipate, they create heat. These are words on the internet now, but they are also just heat, that I made, that time – when I thought of an idea and it was just current through the processor that makes entropy. The internet – in this… analogy? Analysis? The Backspace key is the Minotaur. I’m the king Minos to the backspace key, I spell like hell and chase the poor electrons down, I send the backspace key to murder them all.
The Internet: I carry a card in my wallet that says I am human. I say: “I haven’t seen you at the meetings.” When I think someone is inhuman, compared to me. I never say this. This never happens. There’s just this card in my wallet. On the street my friend says to me: “You best let me carry that paper till later, don’t go throwing at them ladies. You look like you got a bible in that back pocket.”
Really I am kind of broke. Just for the moment, understand, just another temporarily embarrassed millionaire. Once I was told by someone, and this was before I ever was Kingtycoon – he said: “You’re just like all those millionaires I know, you’re just like them.” He was serious and I wasn’t embarrassed. I’m just like those millionaires.
Tonight, The Internet, I’m not maudlin, I’m not afraid or sad. I thought about trying those out, as feelings to have and hold, tonight. I’m a little grouchy – that’s true- it turns out, as part of an annual feeling, just now. Insult and injury – what with America, and also my Daughter, who always goes away this week and who I miss, but just miss, don’t fret about or fear for – no harm to me or others, I just miss her. Also I used to think America might have gone away, but later thought that maybe really, it was just never that good of an idea. There are spies that know and might even care that I said that. That’s the story now. I am glad that they have figured out to have jobs, I am jealous that they maybe can have a slightly better kind of beer than me. Because they are spies.
It’s easy to think about against. The Internet. Who is against you and why. It’s easy, sure. I’m not too interested in that, but I know about it. That you might go through your life and ways, and live how you live and think that there are adversaries. To me? I think this is a strategy. It accounts for a lot of excuses you know, a lot of rationalizations for misbehavior. Enemies. Really, best beware those people who are against, who have enemies. It’s too easy to put the blame on someone, because hey! Someone. I have this card in my pocket – it says I’m human. Sometimes people wonder. They’re ready to be against me, I have to explain to them that I mean them no harm. That’s probably something that makes me seem inhuman. You can go to jail for inhumane behavior, the Internet. If you strike a dog or think it’s cool that roosters fight each other to death. That is inhumane and you must face jail, because you are not like humans are.
There are a lot of beautiful women, I see them because I walk around a lot. Sometimes they are walking a dog or riding a bike – to me these are inhumane behaviors – I accord them no acknowledgement. It is too easy to notice when people are not humans. I am like a millionaire.
Really, I think being sad or angry is foolish. Sometimes I am angry though, really so and it is a thing and a face – it’s a kind of face that you use – when you’re angry and it explains everything and everyone is sorry. The apologize for what they have done. I have an angry face from the Arabs. In America they don’t like the Arabs so much because we have the best angry faces. In America the people are experts of being afraid.
Today I saw the memorial again, of the girl that got beaten to death in a ditch next to my work. It’s still crazy to think about. I blame a certain indigent man that I never see anymore. If I see him again, I know that I will use my angriest face that is from Arabian Africa, it is a good face that made Camus think of doing murders, I will use it on him and say to him that I suspect him – because he is incorrect to women.
Someone was telling me about how she trained her children not to litter and I said that my child knows not to litter because of how I yell at strangers. The internet, you see my benign face that tells kindly things, I try to manifest my kindest persona here, On you, The Internet, but in life, I am mean. Like a millionaire. I yell at people a lot, when they don’t act right. It is important that people understand that they are not alone. You have to yell at them so that they know that you love them and that they matter and that you have seen what they have done.
I carry a card in my wallet, it says that I am human. Dear, The internet – I am not of my place or time because I never understood that you should be afraid of things. I’m not afraid of people. Sometimes I am afraid of things. I live in the Waste-Land and most days- I see feral dogs. It is sensible to be wary of feral dogs. They are dangerous as fuck.
Today the scrapyard was quiet and empty. They’d used the magnetic cranes to load all the freight cars and send them away. I would see the magnetic cranes and the freight cars full of scrap, all pointy and jagged. I’d once or twice winced when I thought of being magnetized and dropped into the freight car full of jagged scrap. It’s sensible to be afraid of things. Certain things. You could die. Anyone can.
The internet, I try and practice letting go of the things that hurt me or make me sad. So I am usually not sad. A thing or person, usually a person, they’ll make me sad and I say, “Not Sad.” So I know that I am not and let that thing or person, usually a person go. I am not anyone’s boss. I cannot say – “You must stay and endure my displeasure.” I say: “go.” Because I’m not anyone’s boss. Not anymore. No one needs to stay and endure displeasure. Mostly though, I think that people want to endure it. Often they will misbehave so that you must yell at them and make them sad by using the techniques of Arabia, certain techniques of staring and disdain that I learned. I do not enjoy this, but sometimes people want this to happen to them. I am rarely obliging. I don’t want any trouble. I say, not a word, and let these things (which is the name for people that people use, I know because I have this card) Go.
So no, I’m not sad, but I do like to brood and sit in the dark and be DISAPPOINTED that happens and sometimes, you will get a call and be asked or told something. You will, maybe you’ll be sad, not me. I’ll be DISAPPOINTED, where once I was appointed? I resign my commission, I denounce my status. Like a millionaire might.
The Internet: I carry a card in my wallet that says I am human. I say: “I haven’t seen you at the meetings.” When I think someone is inhuman, compared to me. I never say this. This never happens. There’s just this card in my wallet. On the street my friend says to me: “You best let me carry that paper till later, don’t go throwing at them ladies. You look like you got a bible in that back pocket.”
Really I am kind of broke. Just for the moment, understand, just another temporarily embarrassed millionaire. Once I was told by someone, and this was before I ever was Kingtycoon – he said: “You’re just like all those millionaires I know, you’re just like them.” He was serious and I wasn’t embarrassed. I’m just like those millionaires.
Tonight, The Internet, I’m not maudlin, I’m not afraid or sad. I thought about trying those out, as feelings to have and hold, tonight. I’m a little grouchy – that’s true- it turns out, as part of an annual feeling, just now. Insult and injury – what with America, and also my Daughter, who always goes away this week and who I miss, but just miss, don’t fret about or fear for – no harm to me or others, I just miss her. Also I used to think America might have gone away, but later thought that maybe really, it was just never that good of an idea. There are spies that know and might even care that I said that. That’s the story now. I am glad that they have figured out to have jobs, I am jealous that they maybe can have a slightly better kind of beer than me. Because they are spies.
It’s easy to think about against. The Internet. Who is against you and why. It’s easy, sure. I’m not too interested in that, but I know about it. That you might go through your life and ways, and live how you live and think that there are adversaries. To me? I think this is a strategy. It accounts for a lot of excuses you know, a lot of rationalizations for misbehavior. Enemies. Really, best beware those people who are against, who have enemies. It’s too easy to put the blame on someone, because hey! Someone. I have this card in my pocket – it says I’m human. Sometimes people wonder. They’re ready to be against me, I have to explain to them that I mean them no harm. That’s probably something that makes me seem inhuman. You can go to jail for inhumane behavior, the Internet. If you strike a dog or think it’s cool that roosters fight each other to death. That is inhumane and you must face jail, because you are not like humans are.
There are a lot of beautiful women, I see them because I walk around a lot. Sometimes they are walking a dog or riding a bike – to me these are inhumane behaviors – I accord them no acknowledgement. It is too easy to notice when people are not humans. I am like a millionaire.
Really, I think being sad or angry is foolish. Sometimes I am angry though, really so and it is a thing and a face – it’s a kind of face that you use – when you’re angry and it explains everything and everyone is sorry. The apologize for what they have done. I have an angry face from the Arabs. In America they don’t like the Arabs so much because we have the best angry faces. In America the people are experts of being afraid.
Today I saw the memorial again, of the girl that got beaten to death in a ditch next to my work. It’s still crazy to think about. I blame a certain indigent man that I never see anymore. If I see him again, I know that I will use my angriest face that is from Arabian Africa, it is a good face that made Camus think of doing murders, I will use it on him and say to him that I suspect him – because he is incorrect to women.
Someone was telling me about how she trained her children not to litter and I said that my child knows not to litter because of how I yell at strangers. The internet, you see my benign face that tells kindly things, I try to manifest my kindest persona here, On you, The Internet, but in life, I am mean. Like a millionaire. I yell at people a lot, when they don’t act right. It is important that people understand that they are not alone. You have to yell at them so that they know that you love them and that they matter and that you have seen what they have done.
I carry a card in my wallet, it says that I am human. Dear, The internet – I am not of my place or time because I never understood that you should be afraid of things. I’m not afraid of people. Sometimes I am afraid of things. I live in the Waste-Land and most days- I see feral dogs. It is sensible to be wary of feral dogs. They are dangerous as fuck.
Today the scrapyard was quiet and empty. They’d used the magnetic cranes to load all the freight cars and send them away. I would see the magnetic cranes and the freight cars full of scrap, all pointy and jagged. I’d once or twice winced when I thought of being magnetized and dropped into the freight car full of jagged scrap. It’s sensible to be afraid of things. Certain things. You could die. Anyone can.
The internet, I try and practice letting go of the things that hurt me or make me sad. So I am usually not sad. A thing or person, usually a person, they’ll make me sad and I say, “Not Sad.” So I know that I am not and let that thing or person, usually a person go. I am not anyone’s boss. I cannot say – “You must stay and endure my displeasure.” I say: “go.” Because I’m not anyone’s boss. Not anymore. No one needs to stay and endure displeasure. Mostly though, I think that people want to endure it. Often they will misbehave so that you must yell at them and make them sad by using the techniques of Arabia, certain techniques of staring and disdain that I learned. I do not enjoy this, but sometimes people want this to happen to them. I am rarely obliging. I don’t want any trouble. I say, not a word, and let these things (which is the name for people that people use, I know because I have this card) Go.
So no, I’m not sad, but I do like to brood and sit in the dark and be DISAPPOINTED that happens and sometimes, you will get a call and be asked or told something. You will, maybe you’ll be sad, not me. I’ll be DISAPPOINTED, where once I was appointed? I resign my commission, I denounce my status. Like a millionaire might.
