Still being Still.

The sky is heavy & dense, there’s a weight in the air so that gravity seems fluid, to conform to a shape, there is a breeze that flutters over like the wings of a bird that is god and it has the property of winnowing the heavy sultry air at dawn so that there is a breaking clarity that is allowed to flourish just briefly.

Last night I took myself to the movies to see the inifinty war. I went just because my kid’s gone with friends to see it twice and I wanted to be unspoiled – for her not to reveal all to me by some accident. Movies, still a thing I love. It was just okay, it was fine. But they start the picture & it shows that they’ve been making these movies – Marvel – for 10 years now. And that was something – the clock is always ticking but you can’t always tell what the time is. Sometimes your head is down & you’re too attentive to what you’re doing, you forget to eat or sleep. 

The clock is always ticking but there’s records aren’t there? Of what’ s gone by and what you’ve done. Do you know that I feel as if the last ten years have been inconsequential. That I have been? In these times? That sensibility – that my life doesn’t matter and that nothing does – it’s pervasive and growing more durable as a working hypothesis. 

( Read more... )