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Jun. 22nd, 2018 09:48 amDo you always watch for the longest day of the year & then remember it and notice? I always remember when it's the longest day of the year and I always attend to it with a little bit of reverence. It's the climate here, the weather - it's too pernicious for people to actually endure. The sky is always gray and it's cold for too long & dark for too long. The seasons are ruthless here except for when they aren't. The first half of June is always a pretty & pure little respite & it's strong enough that you forget all of what the sky has done to you for the whole year. What the wind & weather have done & how they tried to kill you. There are shades of abuse & codependency in my interaction with the weather, with the town & with the sky. But I always watch for the longest day & watch the sun set, finally defeated - Lux Victus. Dying light.
The sunsets are pretty, the neighborhood is pretty, good & home. It's agreeable to be out & in it, making the walk and seeing the watercolor sunset just barely past the broad reach of the oaks & maples. Good old trees that'd fool you into thinking the world & what's in it is forever & ever.
That old confusion about permanence & the briefness of life. Or something. I want to know what will happen. Is that vain? Maybe it's one of those misbehaviors that's become so valorized by powerful people that it doesn't seem wicked anymore - like greed & envy. Wanting to know what will happen. I think about it - I think it's probably this impulse that makes people destructive with more authority. Why guess at what will end the world when you can end it yourself & know? This is what I assume about people with authority. Who knows what's wrong with me?
But anyway - we have Tommy's to celebrate the solstice - old traditional. Then walk the neighborhood till sunset. At the store they have this abomination that's a birthday-cake-flavored protein candybar that's $4. We'd seen it once before and there were dares involved in eating it - this on a long road trip to... Where was that one to? Anyhow, we didn't get it and then later regretted it but there it was and the last one in the box. So we got it. "Natural Flavors" The wrapper says so and has the name of the designer? Some guy from TV, I don't know who, he invented this nutrition candybar.
$4.
Well our conversation then turns to discussion about what even is natural. Everything there is that we make or eat or have is from a farm or a mine. I say this sagely with fatherly wisdom. What is natural & what is not then? It's all natural. But that doesn't mean its good. I propose that most of nature is antithetical to life as most of nature is outer space.
Anyhow, I remembered that this was the doctrine of my dragon-man druid who achieved apotheosis. I still sometimes work on his holy book:
At the end of the sunset I walk her back to her mother's house and walking home, think on Pokemon & D&D and Overwatch - the things we do together & then Mass Culture more generally & wonder if those are then unnatural? I see her mom watching TV through the window & start thinking on this - distant as I am from the mainstream of Mass Culture, never listening to the radio or what-have-you - avoiding advertising. So not everything comes from the farm or the mine, some things we dredge from consciousness or the approximation have of it. I guess I'm thinking about that now.
The sunsets are pretty, the neighborhood is pretty, good & home. It's agreeable to be out & in it, making the walk and seeing the watercolor sunset just barely past the broad reach of the oaks & maples. Good old trees that'd fool you into thinking the world & what's in it is forever & ever.
That old confusion about permanence & the briefness of life. Or something. I want to know what will happen. Is that vain? Maybe it's one of those misbehaviors that's become so valorized by powerful people that it doesn't seem wicked anymore - like greed & envy. Wanting to know what will happen. I think about it - I think it's probably this impulse that makes people destructive with more authority. Why guess at what will end the world when you can end it yourself & know? This is what I assume about people with authority. Who knows what's wrong with me?
But anyway - we have Tommy's to celebrate the solstice - old traditional. Then walk the neighborhood till sunset. At the store they have this abomination that's a birthday-cake-flavored protein candybar that's $4. We'd seen it once before and there were dares involved in eating it - this on a long road trip to... Where was that one to? Anyhow, we didn't get it and then later regretted it but there it was and the last one in the box. So we got it. "Natural Flavors" The wrapper says so and has the name of the designer? Some guy from TV, I don't know who, he invented this nutrition candybar.
$4.
Well our conversation then turns to discussion about what even is natural. Everything there is that we make or eat or have is from a farm or a mine. I say this sagely with fatherly wisdom. What is natural & what is not then? It's all natural. But that doesn't mean its good. I propose that most of nature is antithetical to life as most of nature is outer space.
Anyhow, I remembered that this was the doctrine of my dragon-man druid who achieved apotheosis. I still sometimes work on his holy book:
At the end of the sunset I walk her back to her mother's house and walking home, think on Pokemon & D&D and Overwatch - the things we do together & then Mass Culture more generally & wonder if those are then unnatural? I see her mom watching TV through the window & start thinking on this - distant as I am from the mainstream of Mass Culture, never listening to the radio or what-have-you - avoiding advertising. So not everything comes from the farm or the mine, some things we dredge from consciousness or the approximation have of it. I guess I'm thinking about that now.
