(no subject)

[kingtycoon]

This one is kind of involved and I told it over the course of maybe two hours? We went a lot of places and had a substantial amount of ice cream.

So this is a story about the King of the Fairies - and this is a story about how the Weed fairies became outcasts and enemies to the other tribes of fairies.

Before, the different tribes had their differences, and sometimes the kings of one fairy tribe would try to get an advantage over the others. It was because they couldn't always get along that the fairies decided to find a human to be the King over all of them. Well, sometimes a Fairy doesn't fit in one tribe or another very easily. Once upon a time the Dandelion fairies were in this exact situation.

Sometimes people make wine out of dandelions, so the Dandelion fairies were sometimes friends with the vine fairies. Dandelions are flowers and so the dandelion fairies would be friends with the flower fairies. They are considered weeds by some and so the dandelion fairies were friendly with the weed fairies. Sometimes people eat the dandelion greens, and so the dandelion fairies were associated with the vegetable fairies. Not many of the other tribes of fairies got around as well as the Dandelions, and the King of the Dandelions was known to be one of the friendliest and kindest of the fairies anywhere.

He would wear his yellow cap and go visiting among the broken down court of the weed fairies - which was just an overgrown circle of broken concrete and glass. He would put on his green cape and go among the flower fairies, whose ring was a beautiful mandala of water and flowers and polished stones. He would go to the vegetable fairies, whose court was always festive and who always always had food to share. He would go among the vine fairies whose court was wrapped in vines and who were always a little drunk. He was beloved in all these places because he was modest and friendly and goodhearted, never too excitable, always mild and pleasant.

But something happened. The flower fairies noticed first. People were weeding up the dandelions and tearing them up by the roots. They would say that the dandelions were weeds, and the flower fairies, who were sometimes vain, would say to their friends the dandelion fairies - "Why, you're just weeds." And wouldn't invite them to their courts and parties anymore.

Then the vegetable fairies noticed and they started shunning their dandelion fairy friends. This upset a lot of the dandelion fairies and so the King of the Dandelion Fairies went to his fellow kings and tried to persuade them not to shun his people. King Lettuce and King Spinach were not helpful, they refused to even let the poor king of the dandelions into their court to speak to him. Why he was crushed. He had thought that he was true friends with them, but he could see now that he was wrong, and that they were friends for only as long as it was easy for them.

Next the Dandelion King went to see his old friends among the vine fairies, but they were rather drunk and totally rude, they wouldn't even answer the door, but he could hear them trying not to laugh on the other side. He was mortified that those who had been his friends were so utterly cruel now.

At last he went to the riotous court of the Weed Fairies. There old King Burdock and old King Thistle welcomed him in. "Come have a laugh with us!" They shouted. The tribes of the weed fairies had gathered together to play their favorite sport, which is to smash old bottles and stomp on birds eggs. The Dandelion King joined them but was in no mood to laugh.

He swirled his tattered green cape and stroked his golden whiskers and he said - "The other fairies are cruel, the other fairies are fools, a new age in the world should begin, and that should be our time, the time of the weeds." And very soon the Dandelion King had persuaded all of the other weed fairies to join him in his crusade.

First they helped the dandelions to grow and grow, and they choked out the grasses so that the grass fairies were pushed out, then the dandelions spread to the gardens and choked out the vegetables and then the other flowers as well. The Dandelion King called all the other fairy kings to the circle where they all met in the forest and the other kings had seen what the Dandelion King had been doing, so they came to hear what he would say. They were very displeased by what they heard.

"Listen to me Kings. You've driven me out and called my people weeds, you've been cruel for no reason and now you will face my cruelty. The Dandelions will overgrow everything and choke you all out, you have done this and you cannot undo it." Then he tipped back his golden cap and stared hard at everyone assembled. The other fairy kings did not take this well.

King Elm and King Oak laughed and said - "you've made a mistake if you think that you'll overwhelm the trees. King Bamboo and King Timothy cried out to everyone - "We've done nothing to you and you're killing us!" The whole assembly of Fairy Kings broke down into a big argument and everyone was shouting at everyone else. King Dandelion slunk away without another word, and King Pumpkin left to go see his friend the King of all Fairies.

Now, the King of the Fairies had heard of what was happening but he wasn't yet sure what he should do. When King Pumpkin came to ask him for help though, he realized that this was exactly the situation he should stop. "Foolish Fairies," he said to himself. "Why pick this fight? Why make a problem?" But he knew that fairies thought their own way and acted out in the way that they would, not like people would do, and so he accepted that he would have to try and make right what they had done.

He went right to the fairy circle in the woods by his house and he found that all the tribes of fairies had decided that the would fight one another! The tree fairies were saying that they would grow their leaves out so that the sun could never reach the ground. The vine fairies were planning to wrap all the other plants up and choke them into nothing. The grass fairies were pledging that they would burn the grasses to light the whole world aflame. Everyone was at everyone elses throats. "Listen up fairies!" Said the King. "You made me your king to keep this from happening and now I'm telling you to stop!"

But the fairy kings were in a rebellious mood and wouldn't listen. "You're no king of me!" Said the King of the Peachtree fairies. And everyone there shouted at the King of the Fairies to go home and never saay anything to them again.

Well you can imagine he didn't like that very much, and at first he thought 'I should just do that, go home and leave them to kill each other!' But as he walked home he thought and thought and realized that of all the times when he should be responsible this was the most important. The Fairies had made him their king and now more than ever they needed him to do something. And so he went home and got his magic wand and thought about what he would do.

Now the other fairy kings had forgotten about him and didn't imagine that he could do anything to stop their war. But King Dandelion knew better. He was at the King's house waiting. "Listen to me King." He said as the man was going to bed that night, getting ready to sleep on his plan and go into action in the morning (it was going to be the weekend so he didn't have to go to his job that day). "Just let it go, they called for a war and now they'll have it! The other fairy kings need to be taught a lesson."

But the King wouldn't have it. "Dandelion King, everyone loved you and you did this. You made this decision to hurt everyone and gain nothing from it. You're reckless and wrong and I will stop you from doing what you plan."

The Dandelion King was disdainful and said - "What can you even do? You're just a man, you don't even have magic!"

But the King of the fairies said - "I have magic enough for this." and he tapped the king of the Dandelions with his wand and said the magic word that makes someone vanish. The vanishing spell made it so you would disappear just as much as the King of the Fairies wanted you to. And the Dandelion King could see and hear and smell and taste, but nobody could see or touch or hear him, nobody but the King of the Fairies. "You've made a terrible choice for no good reason and now I'll make it right and you can't stop me, wicked King Dandelion." The Dandelion King shouted and stamped and jumped up and down all in a rage, and the King of the Fairies went to sleep.

In the morning he started on his plan. He used his magic wand and said his magic word and disappeared himself. Then he went to the court of the tree fairies. Their court was beautiful and made of carved panels and long beautiful benches. The Kings of the Trees were there meeting to plan their wars. The King of the Fairies went there and while invisible he began talking to them. "It is I, the King of the Dandelions! I have taken the King's wand and his magic words and now I am greater than all of you, I will use his power to crush you all!" And the tree fairy kings were gravely dismayed by this. They grew pale and frightened and couldn't think of what to do.

Then the King of the Fairies went to the court of the flower kings, and the court of the fruit tree kings and the courts of all the other fairies and at every one of the courts he did the same thing. He pretended that he was the invisible king of the Dandelions and that his power was greater than all of theirs. And everywhere he went the Fairy Kings were terribly afraid and unsure of what to do. By the end of the day all of the courts of the fairy tribes were in a terrible turmoil and gripped by panic.

Then the King of the Fairies went home. He made himself a nice dinner and he watched the angry, vicious Dandelion King continue to shout and curse and stamp and rave. And then he went to bed. It was still the weekend and so he had another day to finish up his plan before he would have to go back to work.

In the morning he went and found his friend the King of the Pumpkins and said - "Listen, I have a plan, tell the Fairy Kings to meet me at the circle today." Which is almost what happened. At noon, which is an important time for Fairies the invisible kingmet in the circle with all of the other kings. They were all stricken and afraid, and when they did not see the king themselves they were even more afraid. He began to speak to them, but because he was invisible they were very afraid that he was really the Dandelion King tricking them. To them he said: "The King of the Dandelions is your gravest enemy, the most terrible of the fairy kings! But I have beaten him and won, and you must all swear to obey me again, or I will do to you what I did to him!"

And all the kings of the fairies pledged that they would, and that is when the King reappeared. "I can see that you want to war with each other and that you cannot have peace. But the Dandelion King, before I sent him away forever made it clear to me what must be done. If you have to have an enemy then you will. Weed Fairies - you allowed this to happen, and you didn't care that the Dandelion King was trying to crush everyone else, you even helped him."

The weed fairies laughed and threw their glass shards when the King of the Fairies mentioned them. They laughed and said "What will you do about it then?"

And the King of the Fairies said - "If you all need enemies then I say you can have them, the Weed Fairies are outlaws now, and you can all fight them as you wish." And this made the many Fairy Kings very excited for they loved to have their wars, and to plot and plan in their courts, and to put on their fine armor of bark and grape vine curls. And the Weed Fairies laughed and screamed and dared the other fairies to stop them. They thought it a great sport to be at war annd they immediately put on their spines and thistle helmets.

And to this day the fairies of the many courts still fight the fairies of the Weed court and it is still a great sport for all of them.

But the Dandelion King? Who was greatest of all the fairy kings and who almost beat everyone? Well, after a long long time, the King of the Dandelions, who every day sputtered and cursed and raved at the King of the Fairies, would rage a little less, and grow more and more quiet, until after the long, long time, he finally crept up to the King of the Fairies as he slept, and by then he was an old old man and had done a lot for the Fairies, and the King of the Dandelions whispered - "I am sorry." And after that the spell was lifted and he returned to the Fairy Court and joined the Weed armies. But Fairies are forgetful and capricious and by then none of them but the Dandelion King himself could remember what had happened, but he could remember, and he had learned, and he had grown wise, and in his exile had even learned to be good. Which is why the Dandelion is the prettiest weed of all.