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kingtycoonOh the beach. See - my friend Bridget invented going to the beach on Sundays because she's a smart cookie. And last night my friend Andrew had people over for a million kinds of liquor because he's a smart cookie. And ambitious.
Now. I'm pretty bright as fellas go, and I'm plenty of good times when the good times are to be had - so I think to myself - hey, jackass -figure out a thing of your own! You come back from the beach, all roughed up and saddle-footed from the baking sand and the good embracing water - you go out and see some people and have a drink or two when you can - you can do this stuff! You should do a thing of your own!
Then I realize that there's a flaw in this scheme - which is a flaw in most schemes - and that's vanity. I'm not going to do a thing of my own. I'm not going to make some great idea come alive for myself and me alone. Why no, no I will never. But you know what - you guys? The few hundred weekly page-viewers that I'm lucky and happy to get? You know what you guys - we should do something rad.
Okay - you know, I thought of this once, before - a long time ago. You know what the best month is? I know you know, you're saying it as I'm typing unprompted - it's on your lips unbidden - the word, the name itself- no, it can't have an R in it, none of the really good ones do. No, it can't already have a holiday in it - why not just celebrate the existing holiday right? I'm right. You're right too! Because you were there saying the words to yourself - August. August, the best month of all -the height of summer the end of vacation, the best of all times. And why doesn't it have a holiday? Mainly, I think, and you probably do too - that it doesn't need one. June and September have their 3 day weekends - July has independence day - what about August?
A while back I toyed with this idea - just me and my cub - we played at it. Said - we'd call it Super Day and dress in costumes and hide eggs and hand out presents - said we'd do all that, and then didn't. Not really or enough. But I have friends you know - ambitious inspiring friends - and they made me see - there's something I can do about the problems of the world.
Now I'm not fooled into thinking the world doesn't have problems you understand. I know! I am told at all times by my monster-roommates who watch the television, unscripted television! They know a lot about strangers, a lot. You know what? I don't care about strangers. I care about you guys. I want you to have an awesome time whenever you can. So noticing that there's not enough chances for that - I think I'm going to try and make a holiday for you - so you can have that awesome time. I'm going to do my best - and I want you to try and help out.
So here's my plan - repost as needed:
The Best Day (working title)
What is it? The best day is meant to be, unambiguously, exactly what the name says. Ideally as many of the better holiday traditions (that are actually fun at least) that can be brought together will be brought together. It is meant to be a holiday that will fill the void of holidays in August allowing you and everyone you know (and like anyway) to have a good time together.
When and Where sir? The best day happens on August 20th. It can happen any place where the sun might shine and that there is water. Here it will be at the beach - probably Wildwood state park - because that is a good place for it. If you can have it at the beach at your own neighborhood then do that - if you have to go to a river that's fine too - a pond can suffice - a swimming pool (lucky!) is fine as well. Gather where the land and water meet - It is August, that is what August is for. August 20th is a Saturday this year. Next year? Who knows - maybe it should still be then? Or the third Saturday in August - we'll let that bridge get built before we attempt to cross it, shall we? Lets.
Wait, what am I supposed to do? Is this a big nuisance? I don't know, man, it shouldn't be! Don't let yourself get down, this is meant to be the best day, after all. Here's what I think at least - maybe you'll want to go this way - maybe you live in a place where you can shoot off fireworks and drink in public constantly - if so, try not burn yourself and also - have a good time - it sounds like you don't need my help! Now, if you live in a place like me, where you have to abide by laws, oftener than not, then you might want to do what I am trying to do Right Now. So - looking at holidays I want to think of the best things about them. Christmas? Easy - presents. Mythology and presents. Done - there will be presents. Prizes - to be more precise. Easter? Finding Eggs? Candy? Alright - we can do a search, searching and finding. Alright you know what? Candy too - we can do those things. Prizes will be hidden. Candy will be distributed. Halloween? Costumes. Candy - unambiguous. So... Alright costumes... it's August, it's the beach - are you really dressing up? I'll tell you what - Kind Of! I have a plan. And I think we covered candy. New Years? Uh, drinks? Staying up late? Probably not! It's a public beach man, you'll get in trouble. I tell you what - you do what you think is right, but the beach closes at dusk - so - just be aware.
Anyway! Here is how this is going to be. If you live in Cleveland or nearby enough here's what you do. You come to the beach on Saturday the 20th of August and you come prepared. First of all - you need a costume. It's an easy costume though - dressing up is fun for everyone and I've noticed that a lot of costume time involves capes - so bring your beach towel - and be sure to fashion it into a cape. There. Done. Next. Bring some candy. Now - I know, it gets sandy and weird - peanut butter in your chocolate? Sure. Sand in your chocolate? Nobody likes that - Nobody. So be sensible. Bring other stuff too - treats, bring a treat. Try to share - your friends will be there! They had better be there - it is up to you to invite them. Next up - prizes. Here's a thing. Today we were trying to figure out where to go and who to go to where with. People are primal eaters or vegan or indifferent, or have a car or don't. It gets tricky. So you know what? Someone needs to be the boss. Someone impartial and caring who loves you. Someone who can say - you know that sweet present you got that cost no more than $10? Here's the thing - I know someone who wants that present! I know just the person. The person who figures that out - who sets it all up? That is the boss. And the boss of this can be reached at bestdayCLV@gmail.com - send him your RSVP - and tell him what you want - and what you want to bring - you know what? He'll be a sport and match you up with someone. Someone you might not even know! Exciting I know - your big chance to make new friends! You can find out a little about someone new! Thrill. Now I know what you're saying - what was that you were saying about finding hidden eggs? Easter Eggs? Oh my friends you leave that to me. I promise we will be at the beach and there will be buried treasure. Is it pirate gold you ask? I say: It's Lake Erie man, calm down. Will it be a sweet prize that will determine who is the boss next year? You bet that it is my friend - you're probably a genius.
Clear? It's a beach party with presents and food. We all love holidays, we all love our friends and family, we all love the summer. We all want this - I'm just trying to help it to happen. So. Capes? Prizes? Treats? People? Can you do it? Do you dare not to? August 20th. Remember.
EDIT:
Now. I'm pretty bright as fellas go, and I'm plenty of good times when the good times are to be had - so I think to myself - hey, jackass -figure out a thing of your own! You come back from the beach, all roughed up and saddle-footed from the baking sand and the good embracing water - you go out and see some people and have a drink or two when you can - you can do this stuff! You should do a thing of your own!
Then I realize that there's a flaw in this scheme - which is a flaw in most schemes - and that's vanity. I'm not going to do a thing of my own. I'm not going to make some great idea come alive for myself and me alone. Why no, no I will never. But you know what - you guys? The few hundred weekly page-viewers that I'm lucky and happy to get? You know what you guys - we should do something rad.
Okay - you know, I thought of this once, before - a long time ago. You know what the best month is? I know you know, you're saying it as I'm typing unprompted - it's on your lips unbidden - the word, the name itself- no, it can't have an R in it, none of the really good ones do. No, it can't already have a holiday in it - why not just celebrate the existing holiday right? I'm right. You're right too! Because you were there saying the words to yourself - August. August, the best month of all -the height of summer the end of vacation, the best of all times. And why doesn't it have a holiday? Mainly, I think, and you probably do too - that it doesn't need one. June and September have their 3 day weekends - July has independence day - what about August?
A while back I toyed with this idea - just me and my cub - we played at it. Said - we'd call it Super Day and dress in costumes and hide eggs and hand out presents - said we'd do all that, and then didn't. Not really or enough. But I have friends you know - ambitious inspiring friends - and they made me see - there's something I can do about the problems of the world.
Now I'm not fooled into thinking the world doesn't have problems you understand. I know! I am told at all times by my monster-roommates who watch the television, unscripted television! They know a lot about strangers, a lot. You know what? I don't care about strangers. I care about you guys. I want you to have an awesome time whenever you can. So noticing that there's not enough chances for that - I think I'm going to try and make a holiday for you - so you can have that awesome time. I'm going to do my best - and I want you to try and help out.
So here's my plan - repost as needed:
The Best Day (working title)
What is it? The best day is meant to be, unambiguously, exactly what the name says. Ideally as many of the better holiday traditions (that are actually fun at least) that can be brought together will be brought together. It is meant to be a holiday that will fill the void of holidays in August allowing you and everyone you know (and like anyway) to have a good time together.
When and Where sir? The best day happens on August 20th. It can happen any place where the sun might shine and that there is water. Here it will be at the beach - probably Wildwood state park - because that is a good place for it. If you can have it at the beach at your own neighborhood then do that - if you have to go to a river that's fine too - a pond can suffice - a swimming pool (lucky!) is fine as well. Gather where the land and water meet - It is August, that is what August is for. August 20th is a Saturday this year. Next year? Who knows - maybe it should still be then? Or the third Saturday in August - we'll let that bridge get built before we attempt to cross it, shall we? Lets.
Wait, what am I supposed to do? Is this a big nuisance? I don't know, man, it shouldn't be! Don't let yourself get down, this is meant to be the best day, after all. Here's what I think at least - maybe you'll want to go this way - maybe you live in a place where you can shoot off fireworks and drink in public constantly - if so, try not burn yourself and also - have a good time - it sounds like you don't need my help! Now, if you live in a place like me, where you have to abide by laws, oftener than not, then you might want to do what I am trying to do Right Now. So - looking at holidays I want to think of the best things about them. Christmas? Easy - presents. Mythology and presents. Done - there will be presents. Prizes - to be more precise. Easter? Finding Eggs? Candy? Alright - we can do a search, searching and finding. Alright you know what? Candy too - we can do those things. Prizes will be hidden. Candy will be distributed. Halloween? Costumes. Candy - unambiguous. So... Alright costumes... it's August, it's the beach - are you really dressing up? I'll tell you what - Kind Of! I have a plan. And I think we covered candy. New Years? Uh, drinks? Staying up late? Probably not! It's a public beach man, you'll get in trouble. I tell you what - you do what you think is right, but the beach closes at dusk - so - just be aware.
Anyway! Here is how this is going to be. If you live in Cleveland or nearby enough here's what you do. You come to the beach on Saturday the 20th of August and you come prepared. First of all - you need a costume. It's an easy costume though - dressing up is fun for everyone and I've noticed that a lot of costume time involves capes - so bring your beach towel - and be sure to fashion it into a cape. There. Done. Next. Bring some candy. Now - I know, it gets sandy and weird - peanut butter in your chocolate? Sure. Sand in your chocolate? Nobody likes that - Nobody. So be sensible. Bring other stuff too - treats, bring a treat. Try to share - your friends will be there! They had better be there - it is up to you to invite them. Next up - prizes. Here's a thing. Today we were trying to figure out where to go and who to go to where with. People are primal eaters or vegan or indifferent, or have a car or don't. It gets tricky. So you know what? Someone needs to be the boss. Someone impartial and caring who loves you. Someone who can say - you know that sweet present you got that cost no more than $10? Here's the thing - I know someone who wants that present! I know just the person. The person who figures that out - who sets it all up? That is the boss. And the boss of this can be reached at bestdayCLV@gmail.com - send him your RSVP - and tell him what you want - and what you want to bring - you know what? He'll be a sport and match you up with someone. Someone you might not even know! Exciting I know - your big chance to make new friends! You can find out a little about someone new! Thrill. Now I know what you're saying - what was that you were saying about finding hidden eggs? Easter Eggs? Oh my friends you leave that to me. I promise we will be at the beach and there will be buried treasure. Is it pirate gold you ask? I say: It's Lake Erie man, calm down. Will it be a sweet prize that will determine who is the boss next year? You bet that it is my friend - you're probably a genius.
Clear? It's a beach party with presents and food. We all love holidays, we all love our friends and family, we all love the summer. We all want this - I'm just trying to help it to happen. So. Capes? Prizes? Treats? People? Can you do it? Do you dare not to? August 20th. Remember.
EDIT:
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no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 01:52 am (UTC)Oh if only I was in Cleveland! We will hold an Oregon outpost and hopefully it will be awesome.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 01:59 am (UTC)So - my birthday is the middle one in march of like 9? 9-10 - and It's fallen to me to make a plan for all the family birthdays - so maybe this will by my test run? I'm thinking whirlyball - come march, since the beach will be... terrible.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 02:13 am (UTC)jaisus this is good.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 02:27 am (UTC)