(no subject)

[kingtycoon]

I went back to this picture because it summarizes my mood even if it does recapitulate my missing hair-halo. I don't miss looking like elvis and superman's brother - but amusingly - I still wear those glasses.

Life is really weird everyone. You know, I think about it - I mean - that's my thing. I think about it. Reading Zizek now - I'm indifferent to diacritical marks because I'm a native speaker of english - but I like... I like that I knew and understood his meaning before I really grasped how among the hip thinkers of the now that he's the rising son. Theorists man - they're an easy nut to crack - just, you know, vet the creme of your fifteen year blog project and you've got it- the calculated results of the intellectual hierarchy's inquiry. Seriously - I think I've quoted Brecht once or twice in my livejournaling.

So... November was for writing and it was written, december, now, the rain... Look. Look - I was not this person, I didn't nail the iron nail into the old oak tree - I didn't plot the stars or put nicks in the ishango bone - I wasn't amn't this person - except that the livejournal - the livejournal is my Groundhog shadow. I see and think and know - more about winter than I ever knew or wanted.

Not true at all. And really - the opposite - I used to be well broken, but learned to be getting better - because I paid attention to moods and the affect that the 7 years of darkness play.

So here is a story of what has happened -

Except that it is shameful to relate. Livejournal is hard! Because of all the feelings I've come to care about and the people I must protect. This - this I miss. Callow, unremitting narcissism.

Not, mind you, not that I'm not still a science fiction novelist (and thus irreproachably narcissistic) but - but there are these people. Oh they love me, and who wouldn't? But they love me. So keep mum, that's the word

Comments

[sholanda.livejournal.com]

i recognize the executive chair in the icon :)

[jjjiii]

Was it narcissism? Or was it the relative anonymnity of not knowing who your audience was, or them not knowing you?

[kingtycoon.livejournal.com]

knowing your audience is a hard thing - because you judge yourself based on the water you end up drawing. It's much better to write to anonymous angel-titans than it is to write to a bunch of people that are recognizable as being just people like any others.