(no subject)

[kingtycoon]

Days like these days are the reason.  The reason you work, have a job, wake up, live, miss people and feel things.  White-gray sky and black-grey ground, the earth, the world is just two colors and everything in between them feels mashed together and dreamlike.  You haven't slept.  You're sleeping.  You haven't dreamed.  You're dreaming.  There is a pressing down and no rising up, you feel yourself an isolated solitary object inside of nothing disconnected and alone actually alone.  You might realize, and it's probably true, that you, alone you - by yourself - have invented all of human language, context, reality and it's barely coherent, a deamworld image that you've generated out of maddening isolation.  That's today - or, you can chose a different tack, desire, life, sound - outside there's no sound, it's white & silent, there's an oppression, but inside there are voices (as if from a farther room) there are voices and light so you huddle indoors, out of the concealing smoke and there is movement and that's enough to rouse you to wakefulness, you come awake and live in the company of others, only then, you hope, really hope that someone on the bus will say a word, that there is more happening than what you read on a page.

It's a day like this where you feel time as all that's gone before - you can't, for anything, locate or see the future, what's to come or what will happen.  There's no tomorrow, there can't be - if there's no today right?  There's no today if the sun doesn't show up, there's a dreamy fugue-world a closed off cold mystery realm and everything and everyone out in it is not a person, not a thing, rather some symbol with an obscure meaning, approached but never reached - distances are infinite and every step you take is just halfway, only halfway.  You can feel that matter never interacts, there is a deep and abiding softness, a blur and a chill.

Comments

[forsakengirl.livejournal.com]

Very nice.

And nice picture

[kingtycoon.livejournal.com]

Aw shucks.

[archivist405.livejournal.com]

Again, this is great. Needed that today. I imagine that's actually what you'd look like to me as I barely break the 5' mark.

[kingtycoon.livejournal.com]

I really don't know if you need any more sad-bastard foolishness in your life but thanks! I strongly prefer to believe (and some have indicated that it's true) that I'm prettier in person than photographs. Who knows though!