kingtycoon | (no subject)

Bah! I had meetings all afternoon yesterday and so I couldn't shirk my work in the manner I've grown accustomed to and had to shirk instead by sitting in meetings. Meetings. We scheduled a follow up meeting, that was what I got out of the meeting I was at. Meetings! It's fine, I'm a fairly deliberative person, I don't just do things, not too impulsively, sometimes it might seem like it, but usually I've been stewing and planning in private (not secret, I'd tell you if you asked, but I don't telegraph) only to explode into activity. It's good though, that there's this collaborative deliberation, it's good for my psyche to learn to be better at getting along with the people.

I had meetings which do not make me smile generally, so I spent a little while thinking about Babies. I am a permanent friend to babies. Back when I ruined my life and forsook my future by agreeing to work at the daycare where my poor, foolish parents ruined their future, I used to show up tired, leave tired, and only once in a very little while eat or take breaks - but I smiled like this all the time, to be helping out the babies. That's a fucked up job and I'm kind of glad I don't do it anymore, mainly because I like eating and paying bills and not just, starving in the cold, but then, there were babies around. I think that in the next 2-3 years I will recover completely from that one year where I ruined my finances. Almost worth it.

The people at work are either 10-20 years older than me with children older than mine, or they're 20-30 years older than me and bitterly and sadly childless. They are bummed out about it, or weirdly gloating or just confused? I don't know, it's a whole thing. Probably I'm on and on about this at this moment because of youngster Agatha, who I went to get after work. We had our usual supper at Tommy's which she is able to now identify as our Friday Rite, it's cool. We catch up on all the events and talk about things. I'm inevitably really boring, I don't have a lot to say about what I've done this week! I guess. We goon it up and make a little scene, like usual, and then go to the neighboring bookstore to look around.

I start getting very grouchy there though and demand that we leave right away - Right Now, after I hit my head on some lighting fixtures. Dude, it is a small, small world. I'm, truthfully, kind of used to hitting my head on everything, I duck through doorways, and slouch down to avoid obstacles, usually, but then there's the bookstore, you're relaxed, you're content, off guard - bam, light fixture in the head. It's not that it's all painful or whatever, but something about it just makes me mad. I remember once we were in college and that guy touched Jess Aumiller on the face, just fucking around and Jess Aumiller punched him like, 3-4 times fast and hard. He was very apologetic, "Listen, I'm really sorry, I just do that if someone touches my face." When I hit my head on things I just want to leave the place where I am at. And overall, and lately I've been feeling canned and pushed in and contained, like being wrapped too tight in your blankets. Probably it's because it is too cold to be outside all the time, and being outside all the time is best for me. I don't know if anyone is really sympathetic to my weird aversions and feelings of being crowded and cramped and enclosed, but I whistle to myself, it's a small world after all.

The night before, Thursday, I finally got back to running my game - maybe I'll recap - but it was a soft re-start to the campaign after a near TPK - and a few people have joined so it's all new. It was a good session and I'm back to having avidity for the hobby - an avidity that was briefly lost when everyone went stupid and crazy and evil for a session, bringing about the near TPK - swear to god it was all they could do to not burn themselves to death over and over. Fine. Chumps, anyhow, they are getting wiser and acting better, so it was fun and I was glad, that's something I don't like not having on the regular.