(no subject)

[kingtycoon]

I'm tired of complaining about how I'm tired. So I'll just mollify that piece of me that still enjoys doing it by explaining why I'm tired. I don't get rest on the weekends, I feel like I should, but I don't. Kid is... She's not easy to live with. As an example - there was a bit of trash laying outside, like, off in the dirt - somewhere where I wouldn't bother to wander off the road to fetch it (I hate litter). But she's rambunctious- goes to get it, because it's a paper with handwriting on it - so it must be interesting. So she goes and gets it. Next thing I know it's lying on my living room floor. I'm taking out trash at a rate that barely matches her bringing it in. Also she sneaks into my bed at night and kicks me in her sleep out of being chicken about the dark. Or whatever - so I don't sleep well and end up madder than I would normally be about having other people's litter on my living room floor.

Rascal.

It's the sleep thing that gets me, I'm so furious about having interrupted sleep - blindly frenzied. I think I might be capable of serious crimes in the few minutes, or hours, after I've been disturbed from sleep.

Or, okay man, calm the hell down.

On Saturday some friends of ours - Gamer Friends of Ours started moving into our building. It's going to be supa-cool when they are here. Nice kids, young family. We were just making chitchat before we and kiddo made the journey to the big library for her game. Most of the players were out of town - orchestra kids, they went to Cedar Point to ride roller-coasters & play The Arkansas Traveler (which, who knew that's what that song was called? I didn't until I went to the middle-school orchestral performance.) Roller Coasters are not for her so she sat out - but wanted to go run her game anyhow - one kid showed which is not a quorum - I read comics & books while waiting - Make sure you look at and read The Motherless Oven - really as often as possible, it's ideal, perfect. We walk home, have ice-cream, chipotle for supper - and are back to sitting around and cleaning up the house and dirtying up the house when the new neighbors come by again. I'm grouchy and antisocial, but not trying to be - she invites them in and then wants to run her game, having missed the chance to do so earlier - I equivocate for a moment (right, I'm just that grouchy) and then we play till late - it's funny as heck. Her campaign is weird. Evil Harry-Potter school, our village, where all the players are from has been destroyed by monsters - fleeing the monsters we, the last survivors run into the woods to find safety in a nearby town. On our way we find a pair of wizard youth tormenting a little kid by tearing up her dolls! So we beat them up a little and find out that they're trying to gather children's tears for potions. We drag them back to the school by their ears (I'm a good-guy dragon man, there's a good-girl devil-fairy and an indifferently hostile elf-assassin). At the school the teacher tries to blow us up and only the assassin is conscious at the conclusion of battle - so he has a free hand in torturing the defeated schoolteacher. This goes very late and I'm exhausted anyway. I fall asleep & wake to a kid kicking me in her sleep.

Rascal.


In the morning we do our things, wander & do, we end up in the sunny park picnicking on pizza & then she's got some kind of emotions - heavy emotions. Hessler Fair is happening but I insist I will not go. Realizing that I cannot face a crowd and don't want to. In particular a crowd heavy with pot fumes & reggae music - that's the kind of thing that will cause me excess animosity. Fortunately her mom wants to go - so she splits for the weekend, early and I'm left alone to try and find catharsis - which does not come regardless of how much laundry I do. And the second panel of Mary Worth gives no true insights (as it sometimes does, on auspicious days)


Today... I sometimes work from home on Mondays - as a way of recovering from these weekends which are getting exhausting - but didn't today because of weirdness involving the renewal of the SSL certs that actually had to be addressed over the weekend. Blah.

This is a poorly conceived & badly composed entry but I've been having that thing where I want to see something revelatory & inspiring on the internet, something that will give a fresh experience & a more sanguine wisdom - but instead there is not that, and my recourse is to type out words in the hope that they'll contrive to give me a sense of place in my own mind.