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May. 21st, 2015 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kingtycoon
On a cold day in May - that's how you receive bad news.
I called my mother last night, to do, and she tells me that the test is conclusive, my poor father has Alzheimer's disease. She's no use answering questions, there's no prognosis, timeline. It's just uncertainty all around. I talk about it until I can't with her, and then I just go to sleep.
He's been fading for so long, and he seems so fragile. I'm going to be asked to say a lot soon, soon he'll be dead. I mean, I thought that. My father, the doctors say, has a fatal illness. I don't know a thing about it. I don't know if I'll have time to even find out about it. My poor old man. I'm going to be asked to eulogize, I know it, I think about how I'll try and remember, here, as practice, and then I think, he's here still, and I. I just don't know. My poor old dad.
I've missed him from before now, that's the truth, the poor guy. Now he's dying though - and fast or slow? What will happen?
It's a sad day in May, and cold.
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no subject
Date: 2015-05-21 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-21 10:42 pm (UTC)my mema had it, it was not fun. she changed personalities and became mean and one-track-minded.
another family member had it and became childlike and wondrous, slowing moving back through her life. very sweet but confused.
it's heartbreaking either way.
all this to say, i've been there, i have a particular soft spot for this situation and if you ever need someone to lean on i'm here.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-22 12:20 pm (UTC)I am pretty certain that a mean old man will just become meaner.
Fuck I'm sad.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-22 12:17 am (UTC)If you ever want to talk, I'm here.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-22 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-24 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-24 07:24 pm (UTC)