I review a movie
Jan. 3rd, 2012 04:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kingtycoonI think that this year I'll try harder to write about the things I read and hear and see. That's probably useful for you and me dear one. Cause I gotta get the old fingers warmed up and I can warn you all the same about the terrible things that you can see and I can explain to you too why the things you like are actually terrible.
So... Okay I Saw Tintin but that was last year and I read Tintin, a lot of it, but also in prior years so commencing with 2012 here's the thing - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo = Just alright.
The premise is okay but the plot was pretty gross/shaky I will always spoil - so you know. The plot's all to do with the consequences of rich Swedish Nazis having their own personal rape island. So these swedes have their rape island and things go wrong and eventually they get around to caring about things enough that they hire daniel craig to have solutions. Now - to me I know it's not that good of a movie if I can't remember the character and just think it's Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig isn't James Bond or Lord Asriel - he's a guy who represents them - but I haven't the faintest idea what the character Dan Craig played in the GWDT. Suffice it to say he and his daughter and girlfriend are the only pleasant and possibly decent people in the movie. Everyone else is fucking awful.
Daniel Craig is helped out by a gross creep girl who has to put up with a lot of gratuitous rape at the hands of her social worker. Now - You always see those top-10 lists about the best countries to live in with the best social services etc... and I'm pretty sure all the Scandanavian countries always top those lists. Maybe Sweden is the Mississippi of Scandinavia though? Couldn't say, but I can say that I felt that I was lied to about the quality of their social services. Still - it looked a little better than what you can get in the states- welfare wise, at one point this creeper girl, who is crazy - is able to replace her destroyed computer that she uses for crimes in exchange for a blowjob. A nice apple piece - big product placement for apple and Volvo in this picture - both looking suitably bland and elite. Anyway this girl's social worker goes on to do some unbelievable rape acts that are basically comical for being unbelievable and weird - but the idea of the movie is that people have unbelievable and weird sexual appetites which I always find to be distasteful and unbelievable.
So this girl is able to use computer-magic to accompish amazing acts of espionage and to help Daniel Craig to realize that someone he met who was the only other pleasant person in the movie was no good at all. Nazi Rape Torturer - you guessed it. The girl does computer magic throughout and is kinda-pretty and altogether uncharismatic and is pretty obviously supposed to shine as the main point of the movie- what with it being named after her (spoiler alert - creepy nerd girl has a couple of dragon tattoos). Anyhow- it's not too much with the Nerd Minstrelsy - she's pretty authentic as far as creepy nerds go. No social ability, clever at machines, easy and confused when being easy doesn't = romantic attachment. I liked her. A pretty good character.
Now - overall the movie's got some problems. First- it's too long and there's too gratuitous of rapes in it, Fincher could have cut them. Not a good movie by Fincher's standards either - by the way - the title sequence was probably the best, most evocative part. But getting rid of the rape and counter-rape sequences would've been fine and not cost the picture anything. And really focusing down on what kind of movie you want to make. On the one hand there's the social services abuse story - Precious then you have the serial murderer suspense investigation buddy cop story - every movie with three words in the title. Then there's a coda that's a fun caper movie. Just out of nowhere the whole picture turns lighthearted and fun - The Sting. So I didn't like that - mainly because I love Caper Movies and don't really care for suspense movies.
Man, now I'm thinking about Precious again and how cool it would be if Precious pulled off some bank robbing internet-hijinx there at the end of her movie.
Anyway - someday you'll probably see TGWDT on Netflix and if you've already seen Trollhunter a few times you could do worse than to watch it yourself.
So... Okay I Saw Tintin but that was last year and I read Tintin, a lot of it, but also in prior years so commencing with 2012 here's the thing - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo = Just alright.
The premise is okay but the plot was pretty gross/shaky I will always spoil - so you know. The plot's all to do with the consequences of rich Swedish Nazis having their own personal rape island. So these swedes have their rape island and things go wrong and eventually they get around to caring about things enough that they hire daniel craig to have solutions. Now - to me I know it's not that good of a movie if I can't remember the character and just think it's Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig isn't James Bond or Lord Asriel - he's a guy who represents them - but I haven't the faintest idea what the character Dan Craig played in the GWDT. Suffice it to say he and his daughter and girlfriend are the only pleasant and possibly decent people in the movie. Everyone else is fucking awful.
Daniel Craig is helped out by a gross creep girl who has to put up with a lot of gratuitous rape at the hands of her social worker. Now - You always see those top-10 lists about the best countries to live in with the best social services etc... and I'm pretty sure all the Scandanavian countries always top those lists. Maybe Sweden is the Mississippi of Scandinavia though? Couldn't say, but I can say that I felt that I was lied to about the quality of their social services. Still - it looked a little better than what you can get in the states- welfare wise, at one point this creeper girl, who is crazy - is able to replace her destroyed computer that she uses for crimes in exchange for a blowjob. A nice apple piece - big product placement for apple and Volvo in this picture - both looking suitably bland and elite. Anyway this girl's social worker goes on to do some unbelievable rape acts that are basically comical for being unbelievable and weird - but the idea of the movie is that people have unbelievable and weird sexual appetites which I always find to be distasteful and unbelievable.
So this girl is able to use computer-magic to accompish amazing acts of espionage and to help Daniel Craig to realize that someone he met who was the only other pleasant person in the movie was no good at all. Nazi Rape Torturer - you guessed it. The girl does computer magic throughout and is kinda-pretty and altogether uncharismatic and is pretty obviously supposed to shine as the main point of the movie- what with it being named after her (spoiler alert - creepy nerd girl has a couple of dragon tattoos). Anyhow- it's not too much with the Nerd Minstrelsy - she's pretty authentic as far as creepy nerds go. No social ability, clever at machines, easy and confused when being easy doesn't = romantic attachment. I liked her. A pretty good character.
Now - overall the movie's got some problems. First- it's too long and there's too gratuitous of rapes in it, Fincher could have cut them. Not a good movie by Fincher's standards either - by the way - the title sequence was probably the best, most evocative part. But getting rid of the rape and counter-rape sequences would've been fine and not cost the picture anything. And really focusing down on what kind of movie you want to make. On the one hand there's the social services abuse story - Precious then you have the serial murderer suspense investigation buddy cop story - every movie with three words in the title. Then there's a coda that's a fun caper movie. Just out of nowhere the whole picture turns lighthearted and fun - The Sting. So I didn't like that - mainly because I love Caper Movies and don't really care for suspense movies.
Man, now I'm thinking about Precious again and how cool it would be if Precious pulled off some bank robbing internet-hijinx there at the end of her movie.
Anyway - someday you'll probably see TGWDT on Netflix and if you've already seen Trollhunter a few times you could do worse than to watch it yourself.
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no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 03:17 pm (UTC)If there had been a movie about this weird girl's forcible sex problems - that'd have been an alright movie, and if there had been one about serial murdering magnates that'd have been fine - maybe even topical what with the 1% and all - and if they'd have made a caper movie - really if they'd have made any 2 of those it'd have been sweet - but all 3 was too much. Also that bit about the rich people's island of evil - it reminds me of that Island in Lake Erie - the whore island that those car dealers built. It's like the whore island in twin peaks!
We can all agree that fucked up things happen, but having all the fucked up things all over the place and then people interacting within that world - they're inauthentic - if that is their world.
I think there have been six murders in Akron in the last year. It's fun to take pride in the depravity of our civilization.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-03 04:38 pm (UTC)I'll probably end up seeing the film just for the soundtrack, however.